kimmmm
New
Reged: 06/08/07
Posts: 9
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I have been married for 27 years. We have lived separately for eight years and my husband has totally supported us financially the entire time. I tried to divorce him when he first left and it was thrown out of court because he drug his feet on signing any papers so I gave up. My husband has now decided he wants a divorce and has “proposed” how the divorce will play out financially. He currently has a job making around 140K and also retired military officer of 22 years (12 of which I was married to him). Our son has special needs and has not seen or talked to his father since the day he left –husbands choice not mine. I am absolutely terrified!! I was a stay at home wife/mom the entire time we were married. I currently have a job making 11.00 an hour. I don’t know where to start or how to answer his emails. Can anyone give me any advice?
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2179
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To get more exact advice you should say where you live you live in as state laws vary .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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kimmmm
New
Reged: 06/08/07
Posts: 9
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I live in Colorado
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2179
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You don't have to accept any proposed settlement he offers . With a long term marriage and a large disparity in incomes you are most likely eligible for permanent alimony . Your ex would be required to pay child support ( age of majority is 19 but CS can be extended if a child is physically or mentally disabled ) . All marital property would be split equitably , that means the party that needs more would receive more . Your STBX could also be required to pay your legal fees . Please consult with an attorney in your area .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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kimmmm
New
Reged: 06/08/07
Posts: 9
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He is offering me 1500 per month until my son is 18, our house (I cannot afford the house on my own) and all contents, sole custody of our son, I keep all debt before and after the separation and give up any rights I have to his military retirement. He is implying that since he has supported us totally since the separation that I'm not entitled to anything now. Do the courts take into consideration of what he has done since the separation or do they start from when we file for the divorce? Also, I'm new to this sight what does STBX stand for? Thank you so very much for answering all my questions. I feel so very alone and helpless.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2179
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You are still legally married , nothing counts till either of you files for divorce . STBX = soon to be ex .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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kimmmm
New
Reged: 06/08/07
Posts: 9
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Thank you. Finding this sight has given me comfort already.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2179
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A good overview of divorce in Colorado :
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/colorado.shtml
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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lilie
New
Reged: 06/18/07
Posts: 8
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being that he is military i am pretty sure he is used to people doing what he says to do ( since his salary is pretty high..im sure his rank is too)...and that includes you. He has keep you at an arms length by keeping you comfortable. Now he wants to tell you what to do next. I need you to read this next line carefully.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO LISTEN TO HIM.
Get an attorney to protect your rights. The courts should decide what you are to get, not him. They may order him to continue paying for the lifestyle you are used to living in especially since you have a special needs child. Lets not mention child support. Dont short change yourself. The next thing you should do after reading this is call and retain yourself an attorney. If you dont have the extra money put away, you probably own something of some worth. PUt it up on ebay and get the money. YOU have control over your life. Take it.
I am not saying that things will not change for you. YOu may have to sell your home...divide up the assets ..you dont know but the best thing to do is to get an attorney to start speaking for your best interests.
Believe me, your husband is not thinking of your best interests. He is thinking of himself first and what is best for him. there is no doubt there...especially if he has no interest in your son. ( and it sounds like he is lucky for that..).
Call an attorney and dont back down. You deserve your share.
best of luck
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mbaba07
New
Reged: 01/18/08
Posts: 20
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let us know what happened, please.
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Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
--John Lennon.
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