Divorce Support Forums: Difficult Situation

Hi all. I am in need of a divorce, but financially, I am having difficulties.

I have been married for 9 years to a man who makes a good bit more money than I do. He has kept most of it separate, even though we have a joint account, it is almost never used.

He does our taxes every year, and for the past couple of years or so, he has had our joint refund deposited into HIS account, and either gives me very little of it, or nothing at all.

One year, I was expecting to use my share for paying off my credit cards, but he wouldn't let me have any of it. Therefore, I ended up having to take out a personal loan, which is high interest. I then lost my job, and ended up missing several payments, and now I owe even more. I am back on a monthly payment schedule now that I am working again, but I still owe a lot of money.

My husband is verbally and emotionally abusive to the extreme. He always wants to pick fights in front of the children, where he then tells me I am stupid and fat and lazy and that he wants to get rid of me and get our children a new mommy.

This always leaves me in tears, for which he then mocks me, and the kids are always freaked out, because he starts yelling in my face and calling me all sorts of ugly names, usually with the 'f' word attached.

He has twice assaulted me physically, the second time I had him thrown in jail. He hasn't physically hurt me since then, although he does get right up in my face, yelling so loud that he spits in my face, and he threatens to take my children away from me.

He told me that if I get a divorce and try to get custody of the kids, he would see me 'dead and buried'. That was written on the report I filed with the police several years ago when he last assaulted me.

The judge told him that if he failed to attend the full anger management course, then if he were ever to assault me again, he would get 30 days in jail. He made up all kinds of excuses as to why he couldn't go to every meeting, so never finished the course.

He says now that this is off of his record, although I have no idea why it would be. Even if it were several years ago (5), why would it simply be taken off?

I desperately need a divorce, but I really don't have the money right now. The house was his before I moved in, although I have put money into it in the form of new carpet and linoleum, paint, etc. I don't know if that counts for anything, and frankly, I never liked the house, anyway, and he won't keep the maintenance up on it, so I really don't want the house. I have a problem though that my kids were raised in the house so far their whole lives, so what do I do?

He keeps telling me (in front of the kids, of course) to pack my bags and get the 'f' out of HIS house, that I couldn't take the kids.

Now, he knows I have no family here at all. I moved 2000 miles from my family to be with this man, and then found out he lied to me inumerable times before I even got here, but I didn't find out until I was here. I tried to make things work, and we have been together 10 years now. 10 miserable long years.

I really want a divorce, but do not have the funds for a lawyer. Are there any lawyers here in Montgomery, Alabama, who would take monthly payments? I am so desperate for a divorce and to get away from this man who tries to control everything I do, and wants to get rid of all of my things.

I need to come up with a plan to get out, but I am afraid that if I take the kids and leave, it will look bad in court, since they have been here their whole lives. I know I am afraid of my husband, his temper is terrible, but he hasn't physically harmed me in 5 years, although he does menace me by getting in real close to me and yelling and raising his fist like he's going to hit me. He also threw a plastic outdoor chair at me today when he was mad that I wanted to put a stair stepper into our shed, and he said I should throw it away, since it's his shed, and he didn't want it taking up space. Actually, the shed was bought with part of our JOINT tax refund, so technically it's part mine, although he made sure he put HIS name on it when we bought it.

I am just afraid that I am going to get nothing but bills out of this marriage. He owns the house. Anything new we bought together, he has put his name on the paperwork. I now realize that this is an attempt to make sure I can't claim it in a divorce. I don't even know what the laws are about things like that. Since he has kept our joint tax refund, it looks like he is using HIS money to pay for things, since the money is coming from his account, but some of that money was mine, and I never had access to it.

Anyway, are there any lawyers here in Montgomery, Alabama, who would be willing for me to make payments each month until the mess is done? I am afraid to let the kids grow up in the same house with him. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's ok for her husband to treat her this way, and I also don't want my son growing up thinking it's ok to treat a woman this way. My son is already showing signs of this type of behavior, and he is only 5.

Please, and advice or help would be deeply appreciated!

Thank you.