tractormom
Silver
Reged: 06/11/07
Posts: 67
Loc: Nassau coutny, NY
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Ok men, I would like to hear from JUST MEN!
Men: if you were in your early 40's have a Bachelors Degree in Business Managment, and lived in a house that is TOTOALLY paid for by your parents (and when I say totally paid for I mean; mortgage, utilities,and property tax) would you consider that love or support?
My ex considers this life style to be a form of Love not support.
Would ANY of you men be embarrased to admit to others that your parents are paying your bills?
Tractormom
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4779
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Who cares if the men are embarassed to admit it or not. I am self supporting, and when I was dating at 40-something, I did not mind doing wallet biopsies on the men I dated, to make certain they were not dependent & looking for a sugar mama.
I think any adult, male or female, who can't find a way to live within thier means (assuming that their children's other parent is contributing to the children's expenses), is someone I don't wnat to have in my personal life. And if they're not embarassed about it, they've got a screw loose.
My parents invested lightly in a business startup I had. They got paid back with interest. I lived in one of their houses for a while after my divorce when they wanted someone to watch over it & I couldnt' handle both thiers & mine, but I paid market rent for it.
They didn't need the money, and I could have found a use for it, but it wouldn't be right to use them like that. My greatest joy would be to see them spending all their money to hire a cabin on a cruise liner full time & cruise the world for the rest of their lives, leaving thier heirs with nothing but smiles & memories... the best inheritance possible.
Your ex is dependent, and you're better off to be rid of him.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2007
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Obviously you are angry and frustrated, but you were married for 13 years, and got these exact same benefits all those years. What did you call it then?
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RIDERDOWN
Platinum
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 520
Loc: returning to earth
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40 OR 14? Who is this guy? I don't call it love or support. I call it stupid co-dependencey! This guy needs to get a clue and then get a life. And yes, I'm a man!
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When there is a hill to climb, don't think that waiting will make it smaller.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2143
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where there any complaints about his financial arrangements while you were still married ?
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 976
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=======================================================================================
where there any complaints about his financial arrangements while you were still married ?====================================================================================
That really goes to the real issue: you imagined that you were entitled to part of his apparent "assets" for no other reason than that you were married to him, and perhaps this is why you became so. To your apparent chagrin, however, these assets existed only in your imagination.
You would not justly have been entitled to anything of his unless you could have DEMONSTRATED that a bona-fide contract existed between you providing for this, or that you had actually worked together in a money-making enterprise (implied partnership).
What his parents want to do for him, particularly if they are willing to pay gift tax on it, is THEIR business!
Edited by jbar (07/05/07 03:26 AM)
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4779
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What makes you think TractorMom wanted any of his assets? It sounds like he has none in the first place. I thought this was just a question about how could a guy think he was "all that" & ready to move on in the romantic sense, if he's financially dependent upon his parents?
My question: what woman, knowing that he's a sponge, would want him?
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 976
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====================================================================================
What makes you think TractorMom wanted any of his assets?
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Why would she be interested in passing judgement on him or condemning him for his present "sponging" from his parents, if he is only her ex? Obviously the OP was the product of bitterness resulting from a divorce in which she got nothing, because he legally HAD nothing!
I heartily congratulate the man and his parents for excellent financial planning!
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2143
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{quote} What makes you think TractorMom wanted any of his assets? { quote}
Her other posts where she stated she lived in the house provided by his parents throughout the marriage .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2202
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I'm thinking....George Costanza?
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