HardKnox
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2764
Loc: Wisconsin
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[quote]Remember when we were gonna jump in the pickup and bring Kent beer?! [/quote]
Well, I don't actually HAVE a pickup. I use the term "truck" for any form of SUV. It's a "Wisconsin thing". Kent seems to have vanished and that's good, maybe he's feeling better now. Kent can go out and find his own "notchy" anyway.
WILL YOU STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT.
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2354
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ROFL!!!!
I'm sorry, I forgot the subject.
I'm switching between this and youtube.
...still not dressed...
...day off...
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1493
Loc: Texas
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To Stoltz and JBar,
I have your solution right now. Do not ever marry another woman for as long as you live.
....instead, marry a man!!!!!!
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If you knew me here long enough, you'd know that I am through with women after the current one. As I mentioned before, hooking up with a woman is like playing Russian Roulette with 5 bullets in a 6-chamber pistol.
The downside with my particular situation is that I stand to lose a lot - a WHOLE LOT - so it isn't as easy as just filing for a divorce and wiping my hands of the whole mess, thanks mostly in part for the anti-male/anti-father bias in our courts today.
As far as "Notchy" goes, it is something I can most definately live without. Ironically, it's the one thing women use to bolster their empowerment over men. Once a man can curb/control this biological trait, the empowerment disappears (and the shaming language begins, a'la "marry a man").
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2354
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I'm sorry this has happened to you. All women are not alike. Just like all men are not alike. If you got played on or taken advantage of, so be it. That was a life lesson. I would rather have believed in someone and gotten hurt than live life with distrust. This bitterness will engulf you. Let it go before it develops into disease.
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1493
Loc: Texas
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That's just it ... You "take a chance" that something good (or something bad) will happen, or you just go along and live life to it's fullest anyway. So which do you choose - a chance of happiness or a guarantee? Not a hard choice to me.
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2354
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I think you will be well when you stop obsessing over it.
Right now, you are pissed and rightfully so. The pendulum has swung way over in the opposite direction. In due time, you'll probably not even frequent this forum anymore...and go along with your life on a more even keel.
Sort of like...overcorrecting in the opposite direction.
I did that with dating after the divorce. I chose someone who was the polar opposite of my X. My X was a big, macho bully tradesman.
I then dated a geeky, overthinker, Mensan engineer.
Now I've finally come to the middle and have someone who more suits me.
...just a thought...
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5173
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Stoltz, it's not roulette. Maybe it is when you're 18 or 20, but by the time your 40 or 50, people have a track record. Is seh collecting child support, treating her exes like dirt? Does she accuse them of being abusive? Does she work & pull her own weight or does she live off her exes or parents? Does she have savings consistent with a woman her age should have?
OR, has she never been married & maybe has unrealistic expectations?
It's not roulette, but you need to look at somethign more than whether she is charming, talks a good story, and is good in bed. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, you just have to get more discriminating.
But with you, knowing your history, it may be a bit more. Maybe there's something you do that makes a perfectly ordinary woman think that she's go the right to become a lazy sponge? You probably should not move on till you figure it out... but it truly is NOT roulette!
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5173
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OMG, you dated my husband!! I just LOVE my geeky, overthinking Mensan engineer!
What's right for one person is not for another. The trick is to figure out what's right for YOU. And I don't think Stoltz has gotten there yet. I think he acts & reacts based upon what his most recent experience or pain might ahve been, and his current accumulation of experiences shows him that women are like chambers in a revolver primed for an unfair game of Russian Roulette. We're eithe rloaded with ammunition or empty. Sad, huh?
It's going to take more introspection than that... less blaming of the others & more figuring out what would be compatible... before he is ready to be less resentful.
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2354
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Stoltz- I think you are generalizing and are very hurt yet.
Gigi--I sent you a PM
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1493
Loc: Texas
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==============================================================
What's right for one person is not for another. The trick is to figure out what's right for YOU. And I don't think Stoltz has gotten there yet. I think he acts & reacts based upon what his most recent experience or pain might ahve been, and his current accumulation of experiences shows him that women are like chambers in a revolver primed for an unfair game of Russian Roulette. We're eithe rloaded with ammunition or empty. Sad, huh?
=============================================================
LOL! Gig, this isn't about just my current wife, or the two prior to that, or women I've dated, or even a combination of all - it is a collective assessment I've made from not only MY experiences with relationships, but from MY experiences with women as a whole and from OTHER MEN I've listened to and read about, along with an analysis of our society and the discriminatory laws and what-not that things are based upon.
I do admit, though, it *IS* sad.
Edit: BTW, as I've said upteen times on these boards, I *KNOW* there are honest, caring, loving, supportive women out there, but the stakes are just too high to even attempt to find one in the current scheme of things.
Edited by stoltz (07/11/07 04:10 PM)
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