Maybe I should clear the air here. as for his parent "Protecting their investments" let me assure you that wasn't why they did what they did. There is a very sorted story behind their financial backing of their son. My biggest lost was our three children.Having been the primary care giver and still continue to be to this day.I was told that the court wants the kids to stay in the "Stable home" that they have been rasied in. So the 13 years I put in as being the primary care giver meant nothing. THAT BURNED!!! From day one I knew the house wasnt' mine to pursue. That was a given. Now to fill you in on somemore fine details. Not only did they purchase the house, but they also furnished 98% it. Most the furniture we used as a family was given to us by them for whatever reason they chose at that particular time. There is no guarentee that my children will learn what it means to "Earn" what you get in life. With two on the brink of being teen-agers I can't say that anythingI have done in the past 13 years has made an impression. a few notes on me: I come from nothing, my parents struggle to provide a home for me. I wasn't raised to be a gold digger. Money has never impressed me. it's seems to cause more problems than it's worth. I was never after a man with money. Like I said my biggest loss came when I was told I would no longer be the primary care giver to our three children, something I had prided myself on. Tractormom2000@msn.com
TractorMom - I hear exactly what you are saying and I wouldn't waste my breath (or text) trying to explain it to jbar. He is playing you...making you think you are not being clear enough so he can advance his warped sense of reality.
I, too, had a man who let his parents hand him everything throughout his entire life. It had NOTHING to do with protecting an inheritance from devious money-grubbing women (Phhhht!). I do think his parents thought they were showing their love by supporting him but all it did was teach him that there would always be someone there to help him no matter how lazy or irresponsible he was.
Problem was, I replaced his parents when we married. I thought I was helping him become a better person by not expecting everyone else to solve his problems but I did pay his way throughout the relationship. He was free to pursue his "dream job" while I paid all the bills. He now resents me for the help I gave him. Yup, he actually told me that as an excuse for his affair. He found a woman who is even less responsible than he is so he can feel like a man.
That's his burden. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to be "right" about this. I, for one, think you are 100% right...his parents are doing him no favors by giving him a free ride through life. He will spend the rest of his life thinking the world owes him a living. Karma will get him in the end...angry all the time, blaming everyone else for his misfortune, not taking responsibility for his own happiness...hmm, sounds like someone on this forum?
For every woman that takes advantage of a woman in a relationship, there's a man who takes advantage of a woman. At least we now both know what to avoid in the future, don't we?
-------------------- We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails -Bertha Calloway
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