theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2137
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I disagree , in order for a custody change there would need to be a "significant change in circumstances " since custody was decided . Some of the most common changes are :
Whether a party has provided for the child's particular health needs, handicaps, hygiene habits, and dietary and clothing needs.
Whether a party has properly overseen the child's educational and social development.
A party's ability or inability to spend time with, care for, and supervise a child.
A party's income, financial situation, employment history and capacity, present job status, and type of employment.
Frequent changes of residence by the custodial parent.
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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JKplus2
New
Reged: 07/09/07
Posts: 15
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theanswerguy - thanks, and that is what our attorney said and the statutes in my state. There have been several "significant changes in circumstances" in our case.
When custody was originally set, Bio-mom was married to a service man and in the papers, were allowed to move state to state. That is no longer the case as they are divorced.
She and her kids have moved from in state to out of state to in state and many many places since then.
My stepson has had significant breathing problems and many doctor's visits including ER (in a doctor's opinion) because of Bio-mom smoking around him since he was born and still does. That we can prove with medical records.
She already admitted to my husband she will not be enrolling their son in pre-k (he is four this year) and her excuse was " because I'm having my baby and I will not be going to school (college) this semester and want him with me all day" and "we are moving before this semester anyway". My husband address this in the court papers, that we have a stable home and can provide for his son.
The fact that bio-mom has be reluctant to give my husband visitation over the past 3 years at various times.
Wouldn't some of those qualify him for more visitation if not a change in custody? I have documentation for the past 3 years for all of this. Will a judge consider our documentation? Thanks!
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4697
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I believe the judge will consider it and you have a chance. It's tough to get a judge to change whatever is teh current setup in a parenting situation, becasue they have some belief that "stability" is good for a kid, even a stable, UNSTABILITY, if that makes sense... if it's what the kid knows, the judges are reluctant to change it... but in your situation, the ex ahs made some decisions that are contrary to the best interests (health, educational) of this child. And that might be the turning point. Of course, the fact is that HER instability is SO unstable (gosh, 10 moves in 3 years tips the scale for me)... that that, alone, might do the trick.
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JKplus2
New
Reged: 07/09/07
Posts: 15
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gigi - Their son (my stepson) knows that he has "a lot of houses with his mom" so he has stated. He also doesn't have a set schedule of visitation with my husband, it is set in the original papers for EOWE but he has never only been here EOWE, its either been more of less or changes constantly. He doesn't know when he'll see his dad or when he'll see his mom when he's at his dads house and it breaks my heart for him. There are other little details but the moving and health concerns are what we're looking at. Thanks!!
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4697
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Get the book, Mom's House, Dad's House and read it, and understand the basic principles in it. The judges are all kind of committed to making things work like this if they can. Don't try to make excuses for why it can't work, but rather give examples of how, if your stepson is at your house most of the time, it will work BETTER. I'm not suggesting that you actually give quotes to him from the book or refer to it as if it's the way this always goes... because the judges really kind of like to believe that this stuff comes from thier heads & common sense (and if you get the principles from this book into your head, you'll see that a lot of it IS common sense).
The thing is that some of it is really hard to do right, so the book will have tips & hints & explanations of why this is the right way to do it and why that is the right way to do it. If the two of you have this book in your head, and can figure out how you'll maybe change one or two things you've been doing or thinking, to make the nicer way of doing it that the book explains to happen... well, it's like at the hearing & the proceedings leading up to it, you'll be channelling that information. When you walk into the courtroom before the jduge is there, you'll be chatting about exactly that type of stuff and teh judge's assistants will be hearing that YOU are the reasonable ones waiting in the courtroom. Truly, it comes through in your manner if you're not being rabid & nasty, have read up on what's the right way to do things, and are really workign at trying hard for this... and the judges will try to make it work for the one who is trying to do the right thing...
Of course, you're even further ahead of the game if you show up calmly with this Mom's House, Dad's House stuff in your head about how to do right by the kid, but it'll be even better when the ex shows up looking like a raving lunatic while you're all about calmly trying to do right by the kid.
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