wireman
Silver
Reged: 08/28/07
Posts: 87
Loc: Colorado
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Ok, so here it goes. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 10 of those years. To make a long story short, things were rough the last couple of months.Tensions flaring, anger on both sides. Kept encouraging that we all go to counseling, she always declined. At the end of July, she packs up herself, my son, and the dog and hightails it to another state and files a TPO and a divorce. I still have to go to the other state to fight this. That has been an ordeal in itself. I have had to retain 2 attorneys. I have chosen to appear entering a "special appearance" as to preserve my rights and have this action bought back to our state. If it can be proved that this was a tactic to gain a favorable decision in a different state jurisdiction, can that be held against her when she comes back to our state?
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A 100 years from now, the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5041
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This PAST July? The new state does not yet have jurisdiction over your child if you do not give him jurisdiction. And she probably does not have long enough residence to file divorce, though some states will allow an immediate filing for a formal separation.
Yep, you'll need a lawyer in the other state to file to dismiss that case, but what happens is the judges in the two states will talk, the lawyers in teh states will talk, and pretty much everyone will agree (though of course HER attorney will fight tooth & nail over it) that she can stay there if she wants, and she might even be allowed to keep the kid there, but the custody battle will be waged in the kid's home state (wherever he's lived for the past 6 months, NOT the past 6 weeks).
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wireman
Silver
Reged: 08/28/07
Posts: 87
Loc: Colorado
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I was afraid that they may let her stay. But I am really pushing that my son be here with me during the duration. Thats why I filed for divorce in my state. However, since I have filed a "Special Appearance" in response to her TPO, I feel pretty comfortable getting that dismissed. The state she went to has no residency requirements to obtain a divorce, however this state and my state have both adopted the UCCJEA in their entirerty. That is why I filed my appearance as a "Special Appearance" as to preserve my rights and to challenge that they have no personal or subject matter jurisdiction over me or my son. I would assume that because she filed divorce paperwork and the TPO in her new state, that she is relying on their jurisdiction.
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wireman
Silver
Reged: 08/28/07
Posts: 87
Loc: Colorado
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Have you ever heard of similar cases, and what the end results were?
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5041
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I know of one similar case. It got dismissed in the wife's new state, but only because he had filed in their home state. He had gone into the hospital for an issue & when he got out a week later, she was gone with the kids. Becasue he ASKED his state to take juridsiction over the kids, he was able to challenge it in the other's new state. BUT if you haven't yet filed, then you don't have this one thing that he needed to have in order to get the case dismissed in her new state.
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wireman
Silver
Reged: 08/28/07
Posts: 87
Loc: Colorado
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Just so I understand what you are saying, That I need to file for Divorce/Legal Separation? I have filed for a Legal Separation in our state, and I have to appear sept 4 "Special Appearance" at the state she went to, to contest the TPO and the Divorce, and then we have an initial status conference here in CO on Sept 24 from when I filed for our Legal Separation. Do I also need to ask the state to take jurisdiction, or have I done that by filing for Legal Separation?
I am just really freaked out by this whole thing, and I just want to make sure I am not leaving anything to chance.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5041
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You need to file something, but I'm not sure what. It kind of depends upon your state and that interstate statute about child custody & home states & such. Read through it to see how it is that a state gets jurisdiction over a child. I THINK it's only when a case has been filed, so that parents can move kids from state to state by agreement, but when a parent tries to move the kid without agreement of the other, the FILED case in the home state of the kid will trump any case she tries to file in the new state.
I'm not sure, youll have to check your laws.
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wireman
Silver
Reged: 08/28/07
Posts: 87
Loc: Colorado
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OK, so I went to court in my wifes new state yesterday and the judge dismissed the TPO (especially when the judge saw right through her trying to gain an upper hand, and really no evidence of abuse, which there was not in the first place) and then proceded to order my atty and her atty to get a stipulation that she is to drop her divorce action and that our home state maintains jurisdiction over all aspects of the divorce and child custody. I was able to see my son for about an hour before I had to leave after court, that was so cool!!!! He misses me and home and his friends. So, I flew home last night feeling much better that my son was going to be home soon. So I called him today to see how school was, and all the other things were going on in his life. He proceeds to tell me that mom told him that she does not have to come back here for the divorce. So my question is, now that she no action pending in her state, and she has this action pending in our state, doesn't she have to return with my son by our sept 24th court date? Or, at least, be required by my state to appear? Also, would I be allowed to submit the court transcript of the cases that were dismissed in her state as part of our case here?
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A 100 years from now, the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5041
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Your stbx has some weird ideas, but don't talk to your son about it (and she should not have told your son about it, either). He should not know anything about the procedures of the divorce.
She has to be there for the Sept 24 date or one of 2 things happens, either you get everything you want or she gets held in contempt. There's a third possibility, that she's asked to appear by telephone, which is done a lot, but it's weird. People who appear by phone tend to not make a very good impression unless it's ONLY a scheduling hearing. Anything else, and you need to be interestsed enough to bother to show up.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2179
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[quote]OK, so I went to court in my wifes new state yesterday and the judge dismissed the TPO (especially when the judge saw right through her trying to gain an upper hand, and really no evidence of abuse, which there was not in the first place) and then proceded to order my atty and her atty to get a stipulation that she is to drop her divorce action and that our home state maintains jurisdiction over all aspects of the divorce and child custody. I was able to see my son for about an hour before I had to leave after court, that was so cool!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>> Congatulations !!
He misses me and home and his friends. So, I flew home last night feeling much better that my son was going to be home soon. So I called him today to see how school was, and all the other things were going on in his life. He proceeds to tell me that mom told him that she does not have to come back here for the divorce. So my question is, now that she no action pending in her state, and she has this action pending in our state, doesn't she have to return with my son by our sept 24th court date?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> That depends . What action is pending ? Have you requested that hte child be returned to the state that has jurisdiction ?
Or, at least, be required by my state to appear?
>>>>>>>>>> Her lawyer can appear unless her appearance is mandatory .
Also, would I be allowed to submit the court transcript of the cases that were dismissed in her state as part of our case here?
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Yes !!!!!!
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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