Divorce Support Forums: Trapped

Together 23 years - married 18. Gave up jobs and education to stay home and raise both his and my children.(NONE TOGETHER) Have tried to get jobs many times but had to give them up because of his verbal abuse that I was fooling around at any job I had. Same with trying to further my education. He is very controling and verbally abusive.I stayed home because his job requires travel and someone had to be home with kids. Everything we own is in his name including all utilities and my cell phone. He has his own PO boxes in both the town where we live and where his office is. None of his mail (re: credit card bills, bank statements, etc,) comes to the house. I have never seen any of them. I am also locked out of rooms in my own home!!! He makes $100K plus per year - I make zilch. Am given $1000 per month allowance. He stopped paying and canceled my credit cards so my credit is shot as I cannot pay them. He has a habit of buying expensive toys.(telescopes,cameras, guns). I have no access to any money to start a divorce. His 401K alone is at about $500K. All attorneys want at least $1500 to start anything and I am penniless. CAN ANYONE HELP ME - PLEASE????