walkonwater
Bronze
Reged: 07/03/06
Posts: 41
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Hi,
I was served in late March. We have been married since July 25, 2003. We have one child together and I have one from a previous relationship. We bought our home in October, 2004. My husband wants full custody. I make 72,000 a year and he makes 66,000 a year. He also wants all our property.
I'm not a looser or a druggie. Could he really get full custody and keep all our maritial property?
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adrenaline
Platinum
Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 3892
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who has custody now?
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The problem isn't the game; it is that nobody knows the rules.
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walkonwater
Bronze
Reged: 07/03/06
Posts: 41
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We both have custody. We both live together with our son. My attorney told me not to leave the house and his attorney told him the same thing. So right now we are both miserable.
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adrenaline
Platinum
Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 3892
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Well if you are all under the house and it is miserable then be carefull. Don't do anything stupid.
Ok here is the deal.
He has no chance of full custody in the State of Washington unless he can prove you are an unfit mother and appearantly that is next to impossible to prove. In Washington you can be a drug addict but you are rahabilitable so you won't even loose custody there.
Washington State believes you are the better Parent just because you are a Mommy. The only way you will loose custody is if you leave the kid with him for a period of time.
I am shocked that your lawyer told you to stay in the house. They only advantage to that is the material stuff in it. The only thing that will be ugly is if you leave with the child. That might cause a fight, but if you go down and file for a seperation and a temperary custody order there really isn't much he can do about that. Didn't you lawyer have any good advice for you?
You should get a better lawyer. Actually you probably don't even need one here. As long as you were not in legal trouble her really doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Good luck and keep me posted.
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The problem isn't the game; it is that nobody knows the rules.
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walkonwater
Bronze
Reged: 07/03/06
Posts: 41
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Thanks for all the information. I actually talked to my lawyer today and he said that if I am too miserable we can file a motion to have my husband leave the house but it sounds so combative and harsh. I feel awful about the whole situation.
My husband today again through email told me he thinks he is better with our son on the day to day stuff and therefore he thinks he has a good chance a full custody. I don't know what he is talking about. I work full time and so does he so we both try our best with our schedules to be the best parents we can but it just amazes me that he wants sole custody. Like I said, I'm not a bad parent, I work, I make ok money, I spend as much time as with my son while trying to work full time.
My lawyer's advice to me today was that if I really wanted to get him out I'd have to file a motion w/ the court and then a judge would decide if he should vacate our house. To me that just sounds so harsh but I am thinking about it. However, our mortgage payment alone is 2,100 a month and I don't know if I could swing that alone on top of all the other bills we have.
Man, divorce is nasty. It's so bad. I never thought about how bad it can get. I never wanted one.
I just feel bullied and under pressure right now. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to loose my son that's the main concern. I am willing to go 50/50 custody but he seems convinced he can get sole custody --- what a jerk.
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adrenaline
Platinum
Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 3892
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I honestly believe he is blowing steam it would take an act of congress for him to get custody. Rather than getting him legally kicked out of the house put it up for sale. The Judge will most likely make you sell it anyway.
I would go down and fill out legal seperation or divorce papers and temporary custody papers. That way you can legally get custody before the divorce and then he won't have a chance in hell to win if you already have custody.
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The problem isn't the game; it is that nobody knows the rules.
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walkonwater
Bronze
Reged: 07/03/06
Posts: 41
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He already filed for divorce and I've already responded. Unfortunately I can't sell the house. When we bought the house we used his name and his credit to finance this house. So, I can't do that.
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adrenaline
Platinum
Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 3892
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Well the house is community property. You move out take the child and file for custody and in the divorce he will be mandated to pay you a percentage of the equity and you can start your new life.
If it is all in his name you will have a tough time getting the house plus with it all being in his name I seriously doubt he will leave. Even if you legally make him leave he will just sell the house and split the equity anyway. If there is any equity. If there is marital debt some of the equity will be used to cover that.
Do what you think is fair.
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The problem isn't the game; it is that nobody knows the rules.
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subzero
Platinum
Reged: 07/24/06
Posts: 877
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Hello I'm new here. I was just reading this thread. I'm going through a divorce as well. My wife filed last month and so did I. I have since moved out on my own. You have every right to move. When you do you won't be responible for any of the house expensives. My wife now pays all our household expensives. From the mortgage to everyday expensives and it's making her go broke. She verbally told me she could afford it. I said have had it. Now I want my 50% and now she's is going to have a hard time coming up with $60.000 to pay me off. She can have the house I just wants what's fair to me. She won't be able to afford that house without my name on the mortgage. I feel really bad for my wife and the actions she has taken. It sad that someone you love after 7 years of marriage just checks out. I've tried to reconcile with her but she doesn't want me at all. The daughter and I will manage to get by and will make it down the road.
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