My husband and I have been married for three years (no kids), and he now wants a divorce. He's psychologically abusive and I believe his wanting a divorce is just another mind game, but I'm finally giving in and giving up. Because my plea for counselling has been denied time and again, I'd like to file for divorce.
I have no money, I don't have access to his bank account and I do not work. I don't have access to his vehicle and I don't have a phone available at the house. I have no friends or family nearby. I believe my only shot would be to use his debit card (I'd have one chance before he cuts me off) to pay a lawyer or order divorce papers online.
Emotionally, I would prefer not to deal with lawyers or court.. but I believe it is in my best interest to do just that. Can anyone offer some advice?
EDIT: I would like to have the court order him out of the house for a short time so I could get my things in order. It's nearly impossible doing anything with him here. Would that be possible as well?
Yes you can get an order for him to leave for a bit to allow you to get your things. My concern is if you do not take anything with you when you leave that he would harm whatever you value most. I actually had my xh removed from the house by collin county sheriff when he had me by the throat and dragged me across the living room. Until that point, his bad temper was directed elsewhere... but that was enough for me! The sheriff put in an emergency protective order and he had to stay 1000 ft from me amongst other things.
I don't know legally what the best thing to do would be, but I can honestly say that if it were me, I would take some money and go. If you take nothing, you probably won't get another chance... I wish there was more I could do to help you.
* As for dealing with attorneys and such... you definitely want to get an attorney that will help you and have your best interests in mind. I made the mistake of not getting an attorney right away and he ended up with nearly everything. In the end, I was just happy to be free, but I had a lot of things I had acquired over time (bought, gifts, whatever) that he "stole" from the house when I was at work (broke in).
-------------------- "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
I had my X arrested also..I was bleeding and looked like death warmed over..he was outside sitting on the picnic table eating an orange.as calm as could be..when the cops came...order of protection also...for the next year and a half..he has not entered this house..the one thing he knows is one more arrest.prison for him...
But that left me with being in charge of everything..nothing new but now all repairs and everything were up to me...I just raise myself from the bottom he had me in and became a very capable women..never once did I call him...from now on it is my life..he did everything possible like stopping all bills from coming to the house...they don't become better after all this..they just become the real person that they are...and really the least amount of contact with them..the better you heal..because you can see them so clearly..and it isn't good..but then nothing new is it??
He hid money in the house..I seached till I found it..it paid for attorney fees..and my divorce attorney filed a motion that he had to pay all house bills.. insurance..taxes...by the way..he wanted the house..but didn't want me in it..to bad..he moved in with his mother..(mooched off her)...I got the evaluation for the house...I basically took over...and I called the shots..I filed against him that could be bad because then they try to stall all the time ...there are so may trade offs..it is hard to say which is better...but for me..taking charge gave me more say...I felt safer alone..living with him was always a wild ride anyway..so know I have to make other plans to move...naturally he is causing a uproar..but if it continues..it becomes harrassment..he was arrest for abuse...so everything does bite them in the end..so many games..you just have to develope a hard shell ..if they don't get a reaction from you...it won't make them happy...I refused to cry in front of him over what he did to me..he actually likes it..makes him feel good...some people just are such rotten eggs..I smile..that is something he hates..
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