celeena17
New
Reged: 09/09/07
Posts: 15
Loc: illinois
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tomorrow is my 8th wed.ann. my husband and i are getting a divorce, i filed last month because there is no reasoning with him and his temper. He wanted this not me so here i am deeply depressed especially about tomorrow. i also filed because he wanted me to sign everything over to him so we could remain"friends". i most have stupid written all over my face. now he is mad at me because he has 1 of 2 choices with reguards to our things. im not sad about that im upset because i finally see now what he is. I take meds and go to counseling but i am so hurt because i loved him so much. no children thank god. does this get any easier as time goes by or will this horrific pain stay with me forever.
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2202
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No, it leaves. Just like any pain you felt in childhood. Is it still with you? No. It'll just take time. You'll be so much happier when you don't have him around to deal with.
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celeena17
New
Reged: 09/09/07
Posts: 15
Loc: illinois
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thanks Sarah1014, i hope it does because right now i dont feel like im worth much at all
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2105
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
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yes.
i swear with all that is in me it does does get easier.
instead of like being a constant pain like the worst toothache ever.
it will eventually come in waves...like stubbing your toe. hard.
jsut watch the clock...and wait for time to pass.
it will
and
every minute hour day and week that goes by you are healing.
it might be 3 steps forward and 1 step back at times,
but you WILL heal.
((((hugs)))) im not sure, but i think the worst is the beginning...my heart goes out to you!
taryn.
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mermaidreamer
Gold
Reged: 04/02/07
Posts: 141
Loc: Louisiana...up north
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Just don't ever let him trick you into signing ANYTHING...even if it seems innocent. He sounds sneaky, especially if he knows you are on meds.
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annieonce
Platinum
Reged: 03/29/07
Posts: 221
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Celeena,
The pain you feel is real it comes from the knowledge that the love and commitment that you have put into the marriage is one sided.
It does get better although it isn't over night. The things that helped me were keeping myself very busy and reaching out to help others. This had helped me to not be so focused on my pain, there is always someone that has it worse than I do. It may be to soon for you to reach out in this way, but keep it in mind when you are ready.
I agree that you should not sign away your part in the assets. I think that you may have to work at remembering that you and he aren't on the same team. (At one point I had to write down all the things my X did to remember why I left, and he was abusive - i just wanted to remember the good times) If that means he is going to get mad about the property separation then he is just going to have to be mad.
I am sorry about the pain that you are in and wish you the best.
Annie
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celeena17
New
Reged: 09/09/07
Posts: 15
Loc: illinois
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Today has got to be the most shocking days i have ever had, mstbx called and said he would go along with the divorce, meaning i get the harley which is paid for worth 12000.00 and he keeps the house that is in need of grave repair that is not paid for. i think i am getting the better deal. so, when he tells me that he will agree he then asks me if i would also give him 500.00 because his car needs repair. is it me or did his iq just drop. my reply was ABSOLUTELY NOT. today is 8 years married to a man i see now i never really knew. how cruel can a person be? how low? I am so depressed and taking meds and this is all he caould ask. I am so hurt by this
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celeena17
New
Reged: 09/09/07
Posts: 15
Loc: illinois
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Please everyone listen to rebas new song 'because of you" this is so much how i feel
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Down
Platinum
Reged: 12/19/06
Posts: 441
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It's hard to be prepared for this but try not to let him get the best of you financially. It's sad but he will likely try to take advantage of you in your emotional state. When my X and I first had "the talk" he went from one sentence "I still love you I want to make this work" to "I'll need a few thousand extra from you to set up my new house" literally in the same conversation. I thought at first that it was his way of covering the hurt he must have been feeling but have come to realize that all he misses from our relationship is ole' moneybags here. I know this is hard but get tough as quick as you can at least when it comes to the finances. My X walked away from our marriage debt free and I will be paying for it for the next 10 years. Good luck to you.
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celeena17
New
Reged: 09/09/07
Posts: 15
Loc: illinois
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Hi and thanks for your input. for me getting the harley that is paid for(by me) I leave the marriage with no debts. He gets the house and the payments,taxes and insurance for the next 7 years. I think this little stunt he tried to pull really opened my eyes, I have always gave more then he finacially and now he will have to get it elswhere. It just hurts so much that I could have loved a man that could even think of asking such a question in my state of mind. to me this is just another form of abuse!
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