Sunday night my STBX and I were drinking together. She was apparently more intoxicated than I was and the angry came out.
If you look at my "sleeping on the couch" post, you'll see the messed-up situation I've put us in.
Anyway, regular conversation turned ugly when she started referring to the OW as a c..t and comparing her to my dad's companion, who is a horrible woman. She pulled out all the stops to say things to hurt me and basically make me feel like a monster.
I bit back a little, but she has every right to be angry and this is the first explosion since I confessed to my infidelity.
I already feel like a monster and a rotten S.O.B. so I let most of it wash over me and let her have her say.
The next day, she apologized and asked if I was still angry at what she said. She also said she doesn't remember much of what she said.
I told her I was not angry. I told her I was hurt. She seemed surprised that she hurt me.
I wonder, is there anyone out there who is in my situation. I see a lot of posts from the betrayed. I'd like to see perspective from the betrayers.
Is there a different forum that I can post in where this subject would be relevent?
I'm not looking for sympathetic people. I am just looking for people who may be ending a marriage because they found someone else. I'd like to know how they deal with the guilt and pain of hurting someone they promised to love and cherish.
Hmm...Jake...why do we cheat? Some people say that it's because we're not getting "it" at home and go elsewhere to surpress our desires. You did that and I definitely don't blame you. I did it, too. My husband was in Iraq and I couldn't handle the lonliness and even though that isn't reason to cheat, I did. I told him I wanted a divorce, went out one night after he saw an attorney back in the states, got drunk and had an affair. When we were trying to reconcile, I confessed and haven't been able to live it down since. That was over 4 years ago. I did read your "Sleeping on the Couch" forum and I feel for you. I'm originally from Wisconsin and miss it so much that I'm kicking and screaming to get out of this hell hole of a state and marriage. I don't feel sympathy for you...but empathy. I know what it feels like to want out but knowing that you can't at the present time. Keep your head up and know that there IS life after divorce!
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