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General Forums >> Domestic Abuse

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sweetpea
Bronze

Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 36

court date
#136862 - 09/25/07 01:41 AM (76.6.87.202)

My stbx is going to court this friday and wants me to feel sorry for him. This is not the first time he has gone to jail for domestice violence. The court hasn't contacted me, will I have to be there. He tries to justify his actions of abuse telling me that I kept pushing his buttons. Our son still don't want to be around him long. The other day he told his 6 year old cousin, that if he was a woman he would tell him not to marry the wrong man, and then looked up at me a said Like you did. The fact that he saw what his dad did, is still bothering him. I also think that the fact that he didn't call 911 is bothering him, I try to reassure him that it was not his fault. Will he ever get over this?

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theanswerguy
Platinum

Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2147

Re: court date [Re: sweetpea]
#136863 - 09/25/07 01:50 AM (64.12.117.143)

Hon , don't feel bad for dumping his loser ass . Anyone that hurts someone they claim to care about deserves everything they get . Everyone has a choice in what behavior they chose to emulate . Guilt is the weapon of an abuser .

--------------------
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov

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taryn
Platinum

Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2125
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...

Re: court date [Re: theanswerguy]
#136898 - 09/25/07 08:15 AM (75.185.134.100)

call the court and see if you have to be there,
you very well may not.

as for the situation.
be proud of yourself.
you did it! you stood up for yourself and it worked.
a bully is a bully.
dont buy into it being 'your fault' for pushing his buttons.
...though i TOTALLY know how easy it is to get sucked into that way of thinking.

as for your son.
get him help to deal with the guilt that he shouldnt need to carry but doesnt know how to get rid of it.

he will get over this,
but will most likely need professional help
to deal with the grown up emotions
he's facing with a kid's little mind.

taryn....hang in there and hold that head as high as you can!

--------------------
taryn.

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jersey girl
Platinum

Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1513

Re: court date [Re: sweetpea]
#138500 - 09/29/07 10:39 AM (71.201.60.23)

Your son will need counseling as do you. But - make sure you contact the court. If you don't show and are required - he could get off without a witness. That would be more dangerous than him being angry.

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