txdad
New
Reged: 10/06/07
Posts: 11
Loc: Texas
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My wife and I had our 10th anniversary earlier this year. We have two children (4 & 6). She's a SAHM, doesn't work, hasn't since 1999.
She is asking for $1200 in child support per child. From what I can ascertain from CS calculators, I would be ordered to pay between $1500-$1600 total as this is around 25% of my take-home pay. The children do not have any special or extraordinary needs.
While I do not want to deprive my children of anything, what she is asking for would create an undue hardship on me. Also, she is demanding spousal support in the amount of 15% of my take-home pay. What she's asking for (CS + spousal) would constitute over 50% of my take-home pay. I think it's insane...she stated that her lawyer told her that she would be able to get this much.
Is this true? Is her lawyer privvy to some nugget of information not widely available to the public? Also, is it true that there is a cap on the income that can be assessed for child support? I think I heard somewhere that they can only take a percentage of the first $6,000 net per month. Also, if that's true, would that also apply to spousal support?
I read somewhere that judges don't look kindly on giving spousal support to spouses that refuse to work because nobody is "owed" a living. Is this true? I thought the point of spousal support was to re-train to re-enter the job market. She doesn't need to be re-trained in order to earn a living. Can she still demand and get spousal support from me just because she's lazy?
I look forward to your answers!
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3110
Loc: Colorado
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You're in a financially lopsided marriage. The numbers in these cases can be quite shocking. You need a lawyer. She's actually low-balled alimony. If you can make her $1000/mo request stick while lowering CS to guidelines, you'll have done well. Make sure there's an end date set for your alimony payments and try to get it designated non-modifiable.
Having half your paycheck siphoned off does create a hardship for you. From her perspective losing all *her* "income" creates an even greater hardship for her and *her* children.
I was in a similar situation as you and, you know, in a messed up marriage, I felt I had lost control of almost all my paycheck. I tried to tell myself to be delighted that divorce restored my control over fully half of it and after a few short years, most of it. That didn't really take the bitterness out of it though.
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txdad
New
Reged: 10/06/07
Posts: 11
Loc: Texas
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I appreciate the response, but this kind of goes contrary to what I've heard through "the grapevine". In Texas after 10 years a spouse can ask for spousal support (apparently they don't call it alimony here) but there's no guarantee that they'll get it; it's just that a judge can order it after 10 years of marriage.
I understand that losing "her" income will create a hardship for her but given that she has spent every cent I've ever made (and that's a lot of cents) and is keeping almost everything and is still capable of making a living I don't see why I should maintain her in a luxurious lifestyle for the rest of her life. At some points I was making $375,000 a year and have nothing to show for it because of her spending habits...so there's "fair" and there's fair, I guess.
Your location says Colorado...did you do your divorce in Texas?
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2147
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My wife and I had our 10th anniversary earlier this year. We have two children (4 & 6). She's a SAHM, doesn't work, hasn't since 1999.
She is asking for $1200 in child support per child. From what I can ascertain from CS calculators, I would be ordered to pay between $1500-$1600 total as this is around 25% of my take-home pay. The children do not have any special or extraordinary needs.
> You'll pay CS based on state guidelines .
While I do not want to deprive my children of anything, what she is asking for would create an undue hardship on me. Also, she is demanding spousal support in the amount of 15% of my take-home pay. What she's asking for (CS + spousal) would constitute over 50% of my take-home pay. I think it's insane...she stated that her lawyer told her that she would be able to get this much.
> Maintenance is limited to 36 months unless the spouse requesting SS is unable to be self supporting due to disability or family considerations .
Is this true? Is her lawyer privvy to some nugget of information not widely available to the public?
>Her lawyer can say anything he wishes .
Also, is it true that there is a cap on the income that can be assessed for child support? I think I heard somewhere that they can only take a percentage of the first $6,000 net per month.
> The guideline percentage only applies to the first $6,000/month any additional support over that amount can be at a greater or lesser percentage .
Also, if that's true, would that also apply to spousal support?
> No. The max maintenance award is $2,500/month or 20 percent of the spouse's average monthly gross
income.
I read somewhere that judges don't look kindly on giving spousal support to spouses that refuse to work because nobody is "owed" a living. Is this true? I thought the point of spousal support was to re-train to re-enter the job market. She doesn't need to be re-trained in order to earn a living. Can she still demand and get spousal support from me just because she's lazy?
> True.
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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txdad
New
Reged: 10/06/07
Posts: 11
Loc: Texas
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> Maintenance is limited to 36 months unless the spouse >requesting SS is unable to be self supporting due to >disability or family considerations .
OK...but will she get 36 months at 20% automatically? That creates an undue hardship for me because she'd get over half of my take-home if my assumption about SS being 20% of pre-tax income is correct.
> True.
True what? True that judges don't look kindly on people who refuse to work, or she can tattoo me because she's lazy?
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2147
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> Maintenance is limited to 36 months unless the spouse >requesting SS is unable to be self supporting due to >disability or family considerations .
OK...but will she get 36 months at 20% automatically? That creates an undue hardship for me because she'd get over half of my take-home if my assumption about SS being 20% of pre-tax income is correct.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> No , 20% & 36 months are the max , either could be less . CS would be less IF maintenance is awarded as the amount of maintence awarded is deducted from your income before CS is calculaed .
> True.
True what? True that judges don't look kindly on people who refuse to work, or she can tattoo me because she's lazy?
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Both . Maintenance in Texas is meant to be rehabilitative to allow the lessor earning spouse to become self-sufficient .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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txdad
New
Reged: 10/06/07
Posts: 11
Loc: Texas
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[quote]>>>>>>>>>>>>> Both . Maintenance in Texas is meant to be rehabilitative to allow the lessor earning spouse to become self-sufficient . [/quote]
Thanks for your answers.
My stbx wife proposed a financial settlement that she refused to put down on paper that was very one-sided and obviously favored her. It seems less and less likely that we'll be able to negotiate a settlement without mediation. :-( Any advice on how much something like that is going to cost?
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2147
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More than you want to spend . Do NOT offer to pay maintenance for any more than 3 years or for more than 20% of your gross income . Don't forget that maintenance is tax deductible to you and taxable to her . Counter-offer , CS per state guidelines , maintence for 1 year at no more than 10% of your gross and you get to claim the kids for tax purposes every other year and a 50/50 split of any marital property . If you can , take less of the marital estate to lower maintenance .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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txdad
New
Reged: 10/06/07
Posts: 11
Loc: Texas
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[quote]More than you want to spend . Do NOT offer to pay maintenance for any more than 3 years or for more than 20% of your gross income . Don't forget that maintenance is tax deductible to you and taxable to her . Counter-offer , CS per state guidelines , maintence for 1 year at no more than 10% of your gross and you get to claim the kids for tax purposes every other year and a 50/50 split of any marital property . If you can , take less of the marital estate to lower maintenance . [/quote]
I'm thinking my counter will have no SS...let her negotiate from zero. My first offer to her was statutory CS PLUS the full 3 years of SS at the full amount because I wanted to be rid of her and she turned it down because she thought she might be able to get more. Her counter-offers have been ridiculous and each one is more demanding than the last. I don't think there's any way this won't go to mediation/court, though she says she doesn't want it to.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2147
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[quote][quote]More than you want to spend . Do NOT offer to pay maintenance for any more than 3 years or for more than 20% of your gross income . Don't forget that maintenance is tax deductible to you and taxable to her . Counter-offer , CS per state guidelines , maintence for 1 year at no more than 10% of your gross and you get to claim the kids for tax purposes every other year and a 50/50 split of any marital property . If you can , take less of the marital estate to lower maintenance . [/quote]
I'm thinking my counter will have no SS...let her negotiate from zero. My first offer to her was statutory CS PLUS the full 3 years of SS at the full amount because I wanted to be rid of her and she turned it down because she thought she might be able to get more. Her counter-offers have been ridiculous and each one is more demanding than the last. I don't think there's any way this won't go to mediation/court, though she says she doesn't want it to. [/quote]
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Of course she doesn't want to go to court , if she does she'll receive much less . The lesser amount of $2,500/month or 20% of monthly gross income would be the maintenance award for 36 months .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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