hawk
New
Reged: 10/19/07
Posts: 7
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Wow. This is a doozy-and my first time posting.
Been divorced for many years. X is on 3rd wife (I'm first, 2nd is in hiding). X is emotionally unstable and becoming verbally aggressive/threatening(extremely). Since I am remarried and financially stable, for years things were tolerable and child support was not made an issue. He never provided proof of income (on which to base CS) and we didn't push so as to avoid the certain verbal assault. (He is basically good to our child, and we have tried to keep the peace so their relationship would stay stable)
He recently remarried, claims disability and he and his new spouse do not work. He had a desk job and has chosen to persue his dream of becoming a rock and roll star. (Not joking) His inability to earn a living is seriously questionable due to the fact that he now travels and performs on stage, rather than his previous desk job. He shows minimal interest in our child (Thank God), and seems to only "claim" his visitation rights when he feels like it.
CS has been sporadic, sometimes checks bounce, and he refuses to reimburse his portion of medical expenses for our disabled child, even though ins. co states that reimbursement was already issued to him. He disputes this fact, and states that I actually owe him thousands in overpayment because he states he actually paid more than required % during the years prior to his disabilty claim. We have no way to verify this unless he provides proof. Again, let me stress, he is EXTREMELY verbally aggressive, vulgar, and paranoid in his thinking. Talking with him is not an option that he will allow or we want to encourage. His current spouse is not a viable contact point.
My questions are: How can visitation continue without being assaulted by him at the point of exchange?
Can he actually claim reimbursement from me for his voluntary overpayment of CS, IF that is in fact true?
Help! Thanks!
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2181
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My questions are: How can visitation continue without being assaulted by him at the point of exchange?
>>>>>>>>>>> Video or audio tape any interaction you have with him , if he steps over the line , you'll at least have proof to show the authorities . Meeting in a public place is always a good idea .
Can he actually claim reimbursement from me for his voluntary overpayment of CS, IF that is in fact true?
>>>>>>>>>>>>> It's not an overpayment . CS can't be changed retroactively . He owes whatever amount is stated in the order .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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hawk
New
Reged: 10/19/07
Posts: 7
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Thanks for the reply. He is a really scary guy, but since he "behaves" himself with our child (for the most part), we have tried to just not rock the boat so our child could spend time with him when x allows it.
His behavior has just within the last 18 months (approx) gone way over the edge. I did file a report w police when he left a voicemail threatening harm.
The most recent was when trying to take child over for visit and my husband was with us, so safety was assumed. He told my husband he would kill him over disagreeing about child discipline issues that ocurred 7 years ago! He is getting worse and we know that dragging him through court will harm our child emotionally.
Please tell me how you know what you know about CS? I don't mean anything rude by that question, I just am trying to have all ducks in a row prior to whatever action we may be forced to take. I don't want to get slammed in court because my husband has a much higher income than the x. (Although, as I said before, the x's earning ability is still intact, he seems to have chosen to live off disability).
Thank you for "listening".
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Answerguy is a legal encyclopedia and I'll back him up on his answers.
Failure to pay child support puts you in arrears and subject to collection through witholding your pay, witholding your passport and other measures not availble to normal debt collectors.
Overpaying child support, regardless of intent, is generally considered a gift to your child and not subject to repayment.
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hawk
New
Reged: 10/19/07
Posts: 7
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Thank you as well for the response. I'm pretty intimidated at this point and am trying to keep it all together, move forward, and live as normal a life as possible under the circumstances.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2181
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The Bradley Amendment to the US Civil Code( 42 U.S.C. § 666(a)(9)(c) ) requires state courts to prohibit retroactive reduction of child support obligations. If your ex was to request a CS modification based on changed economic circumstances and the request was granted , any lesser obligation would only be retroactive from the date the petition was filed .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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