Divorce Support Forums: Help me get out! And how?

I also posted this to wemons rights board- but maybe someone can help me here too! Needing answers soon!

I have been married 11 years, 2 children (7 and 5 Years). The first 4 years of our marriage I worked in banking making approximately $27,000 year. I haven't any college, except for a few classes. During the raising of the children I worked part-time insufficient jobs and now work 2- 3 days a week making $11.00 hr. I had opportunities to go full time- but he never supported me in it- saying childcare would outweigh my income. My company now has a hiring freeze!

He is very emotional demeining and finacially controlling. We agreed I would stay home after my 7 year old was born he worked and made around $120,000 a yr. However, soon after he left his corporate job to establish his own business. Well things went from good- broke fast and he became non-supportive- we both went into debt- I had my own credit cards, him his- I used mine for food, household, children, gas- everything! He said he would reimburse me, but half the time it never panned out and he said he was broke too and making the mtg payments and keeping us afloat which was the case.

Now, after many company changes and 5 years of debt years...he has his credit cards paid down or on the home equity loan that is maxed out- but he is seeing an income again. I however have 30,000.00 in debt and barely making the payments each month from my small job. He has now started to reimburse me for the childrens expenses I have through the month- but that does not give me any spousal support or finacially help me pay down my huge debt. He has toys (boats- just sold his old one to upgrade to a new one, 4 wheeler, a canadian vacation cabin- he just had to have since he fishes w/ the college buddies)looking into a luxury SUV for himself "business car" and the "family". He made the decision to get me a "05 used car(he picked)- even though I wanted a minivan a year ago! It is always about him- don't get me wrong we all go to the cabin once a year for a family vacation- but it is always been what he wants he gets. My opinions never count. I am a non- paid nanny in his eyes <>I feel!<> He is always going out of town for business, joy weekends w/ the buddies, fishing trips for weeks at a time. I rarely do much of anything except stay home, work, take care of kids and worry about my situation. I have caught him flirting (kissing, hugging dancing w/ a wemon on a (buddy weekend away) in key west through the bars webcam- he did not know they had- but he denied it ofcourse. When he is away- he never calls home- or calls home early and says his cell is dying or I can never get ahold of him at night! He claim he is just a social guy. (((Well ain't that great for him!)))He has been busy w/ his job and I am the main caregiver with the children since we have no family support in the area, (if they are sick I call off- because he makes $50 an hour to my $11---lotida!!!) he does what he wants- gym at night- golf league once a week, vollyball torneys at nite and any free time is spent on the kids or his friends. His family has recently been excluding me and I feel such separation from things! I don't blame them they see I am used and abused- and insignificant too right now! Things are well for him as long as the "nanny" covers everything.

He says he works his butt off at work so he can keep a roof over our heads- but basically that is what I get food and board and more debt each month.

I live in Indiana and want out- but I am soo broke, we do have assets-and our net worth is good, he wants the house he picked out! I don't and couldn't afford it! I do not make enough to support the kids, he said he doesn't want them living in the the hood..I think he feels tied to me because of the kids. If I file for legal separation should I be out of the home- will I be granted allimony, child support (joint custody)! I cannot afford a rental house/apartment on my own. Can I apply for finacial assitant through the state? Or only after the divorce. How do I go about it?

Thanks for any help!