Divorce Support Forums: what is the "normal" judge ordered visitation plan

Nothing is really "normal". There is a long history of men getting every other weekend (friday after work to same time on Sunday) with one evening a week for dinner (every otehr holiday, some time on all birthdays, a few weeks in the summer). This traditional schedule works for many families if the wife is not earning much, remains living in the family home, or if the husband's business makes him travel or earns enough that he can afford alimony ("afford" being a relative term... the courts always think he can afford more than he thinks he can). Child care, school, etc., all come in to play in this.

but there is a recent trend towards families splitting 50-50. Either a week on-week off... or every other weekend from Thursday through Sunday with Monday & tuesday in one parent, Wed Thurs with teh other. If you look at this, it sounds weird but it becomes very easy to handle. It's called a 5-2-2-5 or 2-2-5-5, whatever you want, that's how it works out. Parents get whole weekends, long weekends, holidays are kind of automatically split according to whose day it lands on & everything is a little easier. Heck, if you're a sports pusher & she prefers music, she can have them in music lessons on Monday & tuesday while you have them set up for sports lessons on Wed & Thursdays. It works out better for people who are doing it than it might look like on paper.

In the equal parenting time thing ,neither parent gets to be a visitor in the kid's lives, neither can ignore their health issues, their schoolwork... neither can be a "Disney" parent. Neither can avoid handling child care issues.

If both parents aren't willing to step up to the plate & DO it, now that they're divorced, then the every otehr weekend plan might be better, but many divorcing fathers are finding themselves more interested in doing this once a divorce is happening (and often, disagreements with parenting issues are an issue in the divorce).

Some conservative older judges are seeing the wisdom of letting men step up & do it, and are more than willing to do a 50-50 plan if you ask for it. You might be surprised. Some of the older judges will PRIDE themselves on being more current on these trends than other judges. And most judges will do something they don't usually do, once in a while, just to prove to themselves that they are not biased (this is psychology, judges are PEOPLE, too). But if you're asking only what kind of disappointment you might have to prepare for... prepare for every other weekend, one evening a week.

If you want more, you'll have to show that you can accomodate thier extracurricular schedules, you can handle after-school care, you can handle getting them to & from school even if you've moved otu of their neighborhood. be prepared with this information if you want the judge to consider it.