undecided 72
Gold
Reged: 09/24/07
Posts: 149
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There is a lot of unintended irony in the username I chose. I like to think of myself as a decisive person. Everytime I have been successful at something it is because I decided what I wanted and went for it without hesitating. Well I want a happy and healthy marriage (accepting conflicts, but working toward understanding), with my wife. I want to raise my kids with her together in the same house and build upon what we already have. I absolutely love and adore my wife and yes I have already told her all this.
The problem is, no matter how decisive I am, I do not have control of the situation. In the past that didn't matter, because I trusted that she felt the same. Now that trust is shattered, partly because of things that have come to light, but mostly because she tells me that she never really had those feelings for me. So there's my quandry, do I keep fishing for feelings that may not even be there, or do I cut bait and go to a different pond? Right now there are just too many things keeping me where I am at, but I don't know how long I can keep it up.
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numbnms
Platinum
Reged: 10/18/07
Posts: 636
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Quote:
Well I want a happy and healthy marriage (accepting conflicts, but working toward understanding), with my wife.
So there's my quandry, do I keep fishing for feelings that may not even be there, or do I cut bait and go to a different pond? Right now there are just too many things keeping me where I am at, but I don't know how long I can keep it up.
No offense intended but sounds like the name still fits. Sorry can't help with how to change your user name...never tried.
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Forget waiting for the storm to pass
Learn to dance in the rain
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Ang22007
Platinum
Reged: 06/05/07
Posts: 276
Loc: NM
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I think that that is a quandry we all find ourselves in. Not the name thing, but when is it really time to give up? In my situation, I hope there doesn't come a time. I take it day to day and somedays I get hopping ticked at him and just think, dang that would be so much easier, just throw in that towel, you don't need that dumb crap. Then I think about where we were and how many people will be affected by ME throwing in the towel this time. The next day is usually better, I try to just smile thru the crud and hug him all that much more.
Here is an example, the other day I was taking my mom out for some fun time, he knew I was leaving. The hose was froze up so he sets it out in the sun.....right behind my car!!! I hit it and slammed on the brakes, moved forward and he came out and asked in the very most innocent of ways "Did you hit that?" I was like "Duh, you put it behind my car!!" My mom and I laughed all the way to the salon! Just got to laugh at the dumb stuff that ticks you off!
I wish you the best and hope that you decide a path that is best for you.
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LoveChild
Platinum
Reged: 05/19/07
Posts: 267
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I say move on asap. I know it's hard, but you need to listen to what she told you and believe it. It was probably hard for her to say, but she said it.
She never had those feelings for you. Friendship maybe, a dream of some life maybe, but not the deep stuff.
I have been there. My ex married me because I was the stable nice guy. Not for the passion of it all.
Make yourself happy. You only live once as far as I can tell. Being miserable cuts time off the end of your life.
And as you leave, watch her change. (For the worse)
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