NCRebel13
New
Reged: 12/15/07
Posts: 2
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1. I live in North Carolina. I was kicked out of the home that my wife, although she says that I walked out, in mid-March 2007. My wife (whom I am divorcing) lives in South Carolina. Is it true that you can only get a divorce in the state you were married - which in this case is North Carolina?
2. I have been struggling for almost a year now trying to find a job. I had one that lasted only three months, 10 hrs work week and making under $100.00 a week. My wife and I do have a child together but I barely have enough to take care of myself and send child support to my wife for our daughter. Would it be wise of me to settle with giving up my right as a parent so that my daughter would have a chance at a better life with her mother? What risks do I have if I can't provide for my daughter?
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2209
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Divorce could be initited by either parent, but they must be a legal resident of that state. If your ex already initiated divorce, that is where the jurisdiction stands.
You can try to give up your parental rights, but it does exclude you from paying child support. The child would have to adopted by the a new husband of your ex, to be excluded from support.
It sounds like you are already a 100% absent parent. In that case, there is no need to stay where you are (in fairly close proximity to the child). There are areas of employment all over the country that can provide a full time job, which would enable you to pay your support.
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OneUnifiedSystem
New
Reged: 12/27/07
Posts: 13
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Proud Father,
You seem like an extremely intelligent man! You are brave enough to seek out advice on a site such as this for the well being of your children - this shows just how much you love and care for your children!!! If only there were more people with such love for their children, the world would be much better off!
I am Tabitha White, Author, Child Support Federally Mandated. In my extensive research for the book I interviewed over 40,000 parents. I spoke with parents who felt the same as you do, If I give up my rights am I doing my child a favor? The answer is always NO! It takes two to create a child, and it is a blessing when children have two authoritative figures to 'grow' with in life. I do not know how old your children are now, but as a mother of two, and grandmother of one, let me reassure you, they will need your advice, opinion, love, support, constructive criticism, shoulder to cry on, hand to hold (if a female) to walk down the aisle, and babysitting offers when grandchildren come along all their lives!!! People that I interviewed who walked away regretted it each and every day!
People in today's society are concerned with the material aspects of life, and it tends to clouds our judgment. The best support you can provide for your children is love and emotional support. Take some of the well known people on the television who grew up poor, Oprah. Look at all the good she does for the children in South Africa.....and elsewhere......
Those children are going to grow up knowing that someone cared enough to see to it that they had a school to attend, to get an education. A popular saying in the Catholic Church is that, 'If you feed a man fish you feed him for one day, but if you teach him how to fish you feed him for life......
There was also a man who appeared on Oprah who quit his high paying job at Microsoft after a vacation to Nepal. He was so moved by the 75 children who all attended a mud floored one roomed school house, he quit his job and devoted his time, talent, efforts and energy toward running book drives for these children and others in that area. He went back with 3000 books for these deserving children! He has found his calling.
Don't give up on your children, they love you, they need you, today, tomorrow and always.
If you would like a free copy of my book I will be happy to send you one. I feel the chapter on the "You Element" will be most beneficial to you right now. Remember God put us all here for a reason, no one is an accident.
I would not be the mother, grandmother, wife, sister, aunt, daughter or author I am today had it not been for the constant encouragement of my parents. They divorced when I was 14, but the constant reiteration from them both that the four of us children could; "Be or do anything in life you want to do! All you have to do is set your mind to it and do it!" has gotten me to where I am today. I am pleased with the individual I have become. I strive to help others, and in return I know somewhere down the line they will help someone, the snowball effect!
Respectfully, Tabitha White, Author,
Child Support Federally Mandated
ChildSupportFederallyMandated@hotmail.com
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ChildSupportFederallyMandated@hotmail.com
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NCRebel13
New
Reged: 12/15/07
Posts: 2
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My child is about 8 months old now. I know that I will regret the decision but I am also sure that she would be better off without me as well.
Let me give you an idea of what my marriage was like. The first year everything was great despite how much we struggled to keep our heads above water since my wife was the only one employed. The second year was a mess when she wanted us to move to South Carolina and move in with her mother. Since being with her family, her family made me feel insecure about myself. I would work around the yard doing whatever was needed and I was made to feel like I was stupid because what her mother wanted done wasn't done to her specification. She constantly threatened to kick me out if things weren't done her way and that I would never see my daughter ever again. When I finally got a job, her family made me feel like what I was earning wasn't good enough in their eyes for my wife and daughter. Everyday when I came home from work, her family was their taking care of our daughter while my wife was healing from a C-Section. Each time I got home, I had to hear their two-cents about how our daughter should be raised like it was the 1920's when parental care and responsibilities changed since they were parent's. When it came to home life, I was told what I could do and what I couldn't do (i.e. when to sleep and wake up, when to eat and starve, when I could chill out or not, when to leave for work and when I had to be home, etc.). I finally grew the backbone that they wanted me to have so much.....they didn't expect it to backfire on them. I hold enough information of their family secrets that I could use it to turn them against each other if I wanted to.
As for my wife, she never stood up for me when her family wanted to ride my rear about stupid things. All promises made were empty promises from her. Even when we seperated, she bought the bus ticket and told me to say goodbye to our daughter because I would never see her again. When I got back to my hometown, our friends wanted to help us put our marriage back together again. Our friends asked her to drive to my hometown so that we could talk but she refused to because her mother didn't think it would be a good idea. I thought my wife could think for herself but apparently she can't since she is under her mother's wing again as little miss perfect.
So I will be ever so happy when I get away from that side of the family when we get divorced. And if they think that they can raise our daughter better.....I'll give them their shot but they don't need to come crying to me when that too backfires against them.
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