vivian
Platinum
Reged: 02/24/07
Posts: 550
Loc: nyc
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I had brunch with a guy today. I met him online. We had been out once before, and I wasn't sure about him so I decided to give him a 2nd date to be sure.
1st he said he'd pick me up at my place. I suggested we meet at the brunch place b/c I didn't want him to know where I lived just yet. Then after brunch he suggested we hang out at my place. Again, I wasn't comfortable with that so I suggested a movie, or a coffee, etc. Instead, we went for a walk and after he offered to drive me home. Since I was walking distance, I declined and left on my own. Something just creeped me out. Maybe I'm being over-cautious, but I don't really know him...we had only met once...and since it wasn't through friends I think it best to keep things in public for awhile. Right?
On a side note, it's so depressing to go on a bad date knowing your ex his cozy with someone they "love" ... especially this time of year. It really bummed me out. I should have went to FL for the holidays. I have trouble being around my parents (long story), so I thought it would be better to stay up north and spend time with friends instead. Now I think I'd just rather be somewhere warm.
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saamrodi
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2909
Loc: here
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Quote:
I had brunch with a guy today. I met him online. We had been out once before, and I wasn't sure about him so I decided to give him a 2nd date to be sure.
1st he said he'd pick me up at my place. I suggested we meet at the brunch place b/c I didn't want him to know where I lived just yet. Then after brunch he suggested we hang out at my place. Again, I wasn't comfortable with that so I suggested a movie, or a coffee, etc. Instead, we went for a walk and after he offered to drive me home. Since I was walking distance, I declined and left on my own. Something just creeped me out. Maybe I'm being over-cautious, but I don't really know him...we had only met once...and since it wasn't through friends I think it best to keep things in public for awhile. Right?
I dont think your being overly cautious....VERY SMART actually. Trust your gut.
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"...And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses..."
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2353
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That IS creepy. You're a smart woman.
Don't give your X too much thought. He and she got together under dishonesty. Not exactly the best recipe for success.
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ATVILLAS
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2352
Loc: West Palm Beach FL
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Good moves viv, you have your wits about you!
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Heidi
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 1726
Loc: Not where I want to be.
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Viv, I've never had a man come to my apartment to pick me up for a date. I usually meet them somewhere or drive us.
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Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
James Dean
Edited by Heidi (12/23/07 05:35 PM)
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Cindy B
Platinum
Reged: 12/17/06
Posts: 3152
Loc: TX
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Smart girl. One thing I have learned is to trust your gut. He seemed just a little too overly-eager to find out where you live. There are many reasons why someone would do this -- to find out what kind of financial situation you're in. To be able to stalk you. Or to get you in a place alone where the possibility of sex might arise. None of these are good for you, so you were right to be suspicious. I wouldn't go out with him again. If you're creeped out by someone, X them off your dance card.
It's hard not to compare your situation with that of your ex's. I know. I try to avoid that pitfall, but it has cropped up when things weren't going well on the dating scene. I always kept thinking here I am alone and I didn't want to be alone, while he's out there with a companion. Very disheartening, but you have to put it aside and move on. You really just have to stop thinking about the ex altogether.
XXOO
Cindy
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"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"
- Oscar Wilde
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lairdude
Platinum
Reged: 12/27/06
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
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Good move not letting this guy know where you live. Someone that is that persistent in not getting the message from you that you don't want him to know where you live yet has other things in mind, it would seem.
Pish on your ex and his happy holiday!!! My ex took her BF to her dad and b.i.t.c.h stepmother's house Saturday. I have never liked to spend time with my ex-step m.i.l. and only occasionally enjoyed being in my f.i.l.'s presence so it amuses me to think of the BF having to spend time with them.  I may not be a great barometer for measuring my reaction on spending the holidays alone because I am Jewish and these holidays only held significance for me because of my ex's enjoyment. Now that I am not with her they do nothing for or to me again.
Ironically while the ex was at her dad's house I spent 10 hours on the phone with someone that changed her view of me from someone to be friends with to someone she wants to be with somewhere around hour 3. She is my Christmas present to myself and I envision many happy returns while if the ex and her BF stay together I already know the fun that will be had. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and won't miss that ride. 
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