Divorce Support Forums: Tired of the Eggshells

I'm going on 17 years of marriage that for the last 5 years have been strange to say the least. I don't even know where to begin with my story.

I guess it all started when my husband left his job for a high paying job but had lots of stress, which he would bring home with him. If we looked at him funny he would fly off the handle saying we (we being my son and I) just don't care nor understand anything that he has to deal with at his job. By flying off the handle, I mean that he would yell and throw things, basically have a temper tantrum where he gets red in the face and starts frothing at the mouth with anger. I have had to have so many things repaired or furniture broken or with dents from his tantrums. When this starts, I try to take my child out of the house for awhile but then come home to the same stuff or total silence for days.

The next job he took, he got fired from. This job finally resulted in him taking on a totally new career as a car salesman. Now working long hours with virtually little pay, I have had to leave my work-at-home job to go back to working in an office and making decent money. Although a little too late. We were so deeply into debt with his change of income that our house was on the verge of foreclosure and almost everything was going into collections.

I took it upon myself to put the house on the market and sold it for a little profit which we used to pay down some debt and put the rest away for another home someday. We are now renting a house.

During this lifestyle change over the past 1.5 years, I have lost all interest in pleasing my husband. I have had enough of the yelling, screaming, insults, accusations and crap that my son and I have endured not only for the past 1.5 years but for the last 5 years. We did the marriage councelling stuff, but there are issues that go deeper than what came out in councelling. Issues he needs to deal with personally that go back to childhood, but will not take the time to deal with.

Just yesterday I was working on something with my son who started to get frustrated with something that did not work out right and he started acting just like his father would. I was shocked and disappointed to see this trait coming out in my son that it made me sit back and think....why am I putting him and myself through this?

Last night was the last straw. I went to take a bath and locked the door for some privacy. My husband flew off the handle that I had the audacity to lock the door! What was I thinking?

This morning I am thinking that he should leave after the holidays are over. I have had enough of walking on eggshells not knowing if whatever I or my 13 year old son may say, do, look or breathe will set off this anger.

I think I need some luck on this one..it's not going to be pretty.