UpsideDown
New
Reged: 11/14/07
Posts: 6
Loc: So Cal
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Is it OK for me to post? Im not devorced...yet. Man, this is strange for me. I never thought I would be doing this 4 months ago. My wife had an affair so I guess that changed it for me. I’m 31 and have 2 kids. I have been married 10 years. To make it short… I left a void in my wife emotionally. She has always dealt with depression since before I meet her. It was hard on me and I withdrew from her and then most everything in my life. I am very mixed about all this because I have turned my life around. I stopped hiding from life and have found some of the best joy that anyone could… Mainly my kids and friends. But the whole thing sucks about the affair. My wife left the house. I have the kids and I am doing other things I have never done before… I wrote a check to pay for something. It took me 10 minutes, LOL. I was told once that no one could know how I feel unless they had been there… from a guy who had been there. I don’t know what I am looking for. I do know I can use something from those who have been through it.
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Carpe Diem... Per vires quod pacis.
Edited by UpsideDown (11/14/07 09:27 PM)
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ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 1964
Loc: bottom of a pit
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well, i'm not a guy, but my stbx husband cheated on me and now we are divorcing and it is a rough road. this forum helped me get through the darkest days. i would advise you to post this under "life after divorce". that gets the most traffic and there are some great people with lots of great advice.
sorry to find you here, but welcome.
kat
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What you reap is what you sow and so it goes...
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lrk1
Silver
Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 88
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You are at a great place here. Alot of us are in the exact same situation that you are. Like ssrachel suggested go to the main forum, instead of the state by state one you are using now. The main forum has all kinds of topics and alot of people to help you. Please share with us your feelings because there are alot of great people here. We also have a great time. You might want to visit the Mancave (Men only) thats alot of fun, and us women bust in on you guys all the time. I am sorry you are here but welcome!!
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ronis108
Bronze
Reged: 12/13/07
Posts: 25
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I'm sorry to see you here too! As for been there before, I had an affair years ago that was an outgrowth of depression. It turned my life around, but unfortunately my wife never fully rebuilt trust. Now after over 10 years since my affair we are divorcing. She found someone else. I strongly recomend trying to work out your marriage. If she is depressed there are meds and therapy that can help. I turned my life around as proof that "once a cheat always a cheat" is not true. If it is hard to take her back, get counciling to work with your resistance, and to get help for her. This may just be the catalyst for a wonderful life for the both of you. Its too late for my wife and I, but maybe not for the two of you?
ron
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pdm1960
Platinum
Reged: 02/15/06
Posts: 261
Loc: California
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UpsideDown,
How much time do you have....My ordeal started 2 weeks before xmas2005. My stbx left my daughter and I for a guy she met on the internet. We had been married for 10 years. She was diagnosed 8 years ago with depression and I stood by her through all the meds and therapy. Still didn't work. You are in such a better place. It was hard for the first few months but I established a support group of friends and family. I served her papers on 29 Dec 2005 and the divorce is still not final. Custody was worked out early on but assets have been the sticking point. I have the house, she has the STD. :) You have an opportunity that a lot of people don't get a chance at, living your life happier. This site will help. Good Luck and stay strong.
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