Divorce Support Forums: help for the hopeless???? HELP!!!

My situation is quite complex...my stbx left for a job in 2005 in another state...2 years went by, and I finally had enough when he said he was going to work their full time..

I finally filed for divorce feb 2007.. and with that have many regrets for doing so...

This man was my highschool sweetheart.. together with him since 1982((our senior year in highschool)) .. and married 20 years..

I have alot an anger issues ....regretting the TOTAL situation..

HIS compulsive LIES.. he LIVES for MONEY...but since I filed for divorce ONLY claims to be making a bit more than min. wage(( working with his brother))

Him and I talk...alot.. I just feel so LOST...so HOPELESS..feel so out of control...

At times I just want things to be the way they were...and at times I value the change...

I know...I am the ONLY one who is in charge of MY thoughts, my mind..and MY outcome..

Him and I have talked about reconcillation..with him coming home for a month and me going to other state for the next month...

I just don't know...IF I can trust HIM enough anymore...to allow myself to be hurt.....

Both of us have alot of issues...and I just need some advise...PLEASE HELP!!!