Divorce Support Forums: Spousal support for disabled wife?

The past two years have been very rough between my wife and me. I frankly believe she has borderline personality disorder or something very much like it. I'm emotionally exhausted from the turmoil and feel very close to filing for divorce.

A complicating factor is my wife's physical health. She suffers from fibromyalgia and has more recently been diagnosed with sciatica. She has also suffered from interstitial cystitis that seems to be under control with medication. She has not worked in nine months. I've been supporting her and paying all our bills. With the loss of her income, I have had to tap my retirement accounts three or four times and, even if we were to stay together, it is clear that we could not stay in our current house on my salary alone.

My wife (age 49) is a registered nurse and wishes that she felt well enough to work. She has applied for SSA Disability but was rejected (as is routine, I believe) and has filed an appeal which will probably take at least a year.

She has also begun applying for jobs in recent weeks, hoping that she could find work that she can handle - but even if she can't, her efforts will at least bolster her disability appeal.

While I feel my own mental health is threatened by this marriage, I do care for her physical health and don't want her medical care to be jeopardized (nor for her to slip into poverty). At the same time, I don't want to give up so much that I'm unable to live in reasonable comfort.

What can you tell me about spousal support for those unable to work because of poor health - particularly in Tennessee? Does the SSA disposition on her condition affect support? If her appeal is granted after divorce and she begins to get disability benefits, could spousal support decrease?

Also, is my situation too complicated to be handled effectively by 3StepDivorce or similar products?

Thanks!

P.

Edited by P_in_Memphis (01/25/08 12:34 AM)