chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1198
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It was 1976 just after fourth of July and I was 8. We were in the line at the bank drive through and both my mom and dad were there. I do not know that I ever heard of the D word before but I knew what it ment. I also remember being happy or at least relieved that they were splitting. I was never upset over it.
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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I can't say I remember being "told". It was more of an observation - Dad angrily running around the house stashing stuff into black garbage bags.
In fact, I can't say I recall a lot about the split other than that. Now have I heard a lot since I've become an adult - like the fact that it eventually came to pass that my behavioral issues were because no one was really talking to me (mom or dad) to help ME get through the changes - definitely.
In fact, I've spent quite a bit of time consuming as much information as possible to build my toolbox in order to facilitate our daughter's transition. She never really knew how much the X and I fought because we were so good at not doing it around her, so this has somewhat blindsighted her.
In the end, though, my parents anger toward each other subsided rather quickly. Aside from my Dad having left Mom and immediately becoming involved with someone else, the years have passed, and we all have great relationships. We even spend Thanksgivings together with BOTH parents, their spouses/S.O.'s, kids, stepkids, etc. together. I *love* that about how things have turned out for us all as adults.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3139
Loc: Florida
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yup. I was 14 & very happy
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**2 1/2 weeks to go...should start counting down the days**
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jakandme
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 569
Loc: on my way up the hill
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my parents never did get divorced but I wished many times as a child that they would so the tears would stop for both of them. They are in a better place in their marriage now after 32 years but you see it as an adult who is going through it for the second time that they are only there for the comfort and stability.
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What is the future but a mirrored image of the past? Only we can make it better or worse!
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saamrodi
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2898
Loc: here
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I was traumatized when I found out.
But....over time I realized it was the absolute best thing that could have happened. Life was miserable with them under the same roof.
O
M
G
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"A man must not deny his manifest abilities, for that is to evade his obligations." ~W.F.~
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overwhelmed
Platinum
Reged: 10/13/06
Posts: 1186
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My parents didn't tell me. My sister and I came home one day and mom was gone. By the time we found her a week later shacked up with some man it was pretty obvious.
I was 14 and didn't have time to dwell on the emotional aspect of my parents were divorcing. It was all I could handle to take care of myself and figure out where I was going to live because my dad was sick and unable to care for himself, let alone a teenager.
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GivinUp94
New
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 11
Loc: TX
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I was 9 sleeping over at my grandmom's for the weekend when my mom phoned to let me know they did for "income" reasons. Maybe a month later, I was waving goodbye to my mom as she was heading for New York to start a new life without me and my little brother who was now living at my aunt's house. My dad and I moved in with my grandmom.
I never saw any arguing but, looking back at how I turned out, I say it was just fine.
So, yeah, I remember it all...from a 9 year olds perspective.
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GoNavy
New
Reged: 11/22/07
Posts: 4
Loc: WI
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I was 13 my father sat my sisters and me down. Told us that our mom moved out for a little bit. A few weeks later he sat us down again telling us that they were getting divorced. I love them both but some how felt relieved. My parents never showed any affection towards each other and seemd to fight or be on edge all of the time. It seemed to be more peaceful afterwards.
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1198
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[quote]
looking back at how I turned out, I say it was just fine.
So, yeah, I remember it all...from a 9 year olds perspective. [/quote]
That's why I posted this we turned out ok and so will our kids. Things got so bad after my parents split I had night mares and I remember a sheriff giving my mom a shot gun to protect herself in a hotel room. Things were very bad. In a few months everything had blown over and everyone was learning to addapt. All of my parents including step parents were at my graduations and my wedding. We all lived through it and for the better.
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overwhelmed
Platinum
Reged: 10/13/06
Posts: 1186
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"We all lived through it and for the better. "
It was definitely for the better in my case. I ended up living with my sister and her husband during my teenage years and they were able to counter most of the damage my mom had done. I ended up with morals and values that I don't think I would have if I'd lived with my mom during those years.
I see my kids getting better everyday so they'll be ok too. They're even starting to "like" it I think.
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