applebadphly
New
Reged: 02/05/08
Posts: 1
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Does anyone know of any help for housewives that are trying to get divorced? All of our debt is in my name, we have a 9-month-old daughter, and my husband is an alcoholic. I don't have any friends or family in this state and no job prospects that would let me afford to even cover the bills, much less rent and added expenses. I have talked to lawyers and all they tell me is that I could move to the farthest reaches of Illinois, but not out of state. They also said that he wouldn't be responsible for any of the debt and that I should leave all of the furniture behind (even if I am still paying for them) and just start fresh (with a kid and no money).
I know that I can get 20% of his check for child support and that he can help me pay half of day care, but is there anything else out there that might help me get on my feet? Does anyone know of any resources or any options that might help me? Otherwise I don't see any other option but to stay with him, and I know that's not good for me or my daughter.
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ILMom
Silver
Reged: 12/03/07
Posts: 60
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Something doesn't sound right here. What is your husbands' salary? And you are a stay at home Mom, correct? Do you own your house/have equity in it? How many years have you been married?
Also, try posting this again in the Spousal Support forum (with the answers to the questions I just asked). you will get more responses. The state boards are very slow.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 1874
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Now is the time to get an education, so you are financially prepared to get out. You won't be able to live on child support alone, unless he is a very high wage earner.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 2891
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I would get a different attorney. Because if the debt was incurred during your marriage, he is responsible for a portion of it.
Illinois is an equitable distribution state, which means that everything isn't split down the middle. It is usually split in the favor of the one who needs it more. Meaning that you will probably get more of the assets than your husband.
Illinois also has rehabilitative alimony. But whether that gets awarded depends on how much your husband makes and how long you have been married for.
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infinity386
Gold
Reged: 02/24/08
Posts: 124
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Welcome to this miserable thing called life!
Well sounds to me like hes not beating you or anything crazy like that. Guess he's just a good old fashion looser. Guess its time to honor those vows you took... Remember those? "sickness and health....good times or bad"?
I'd say if your going to bail on him at least you can do is not try to find a way to screw him over. Otherwise he may just shoot himself.... and there is no collecting child support from that. Oh, in case your wondering. All men consider suicide when faced with divorce. At least I did.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 2890
Loc: Florida
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[quote] Oh, in case your wondering. All men consider suicide when faced with divorce. At least I did. [/quote]
No big loss there...too bad.
--------------------
Baby #5 on the way
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infinity386
Gold
Reged: 02/24/08
Posts: 124
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mistake#2......
I hope you don't have any sons.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 2923
Loc: Colorado
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Your attorney is right, leaving the state is a bad idea. Leaving the county might even be a bad idea.
Your attorney is possibly wrong about him not being responsible for debt in your name. Unless that debt is your from before you married, he will be responsible for half.
Your attorney mentioned child support but I'm surprised that he did not mention the prospect of spousal support. Housewives are usually able to get a healthy allowance at least for a limited time.
Edited by KGrow (02/29/08 08:49 AM)
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WolRon
Platinum
Reged: 01/16/08
Posts: 255
Loc: MN, USA
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I'm with infinity on this one. Respect your vows! He is.
Get your husband some help. The BEST scenario for your daughter is for her two parents to live happily together. Don't you forget that. Your husband needs help. That's the problem. Now fix it.
And mistake#2, that comment was entirely uncalled for. Infinity is allowed his opinion, just like everyone else. Many men consider suicide during divorce. I know that that thought and many other really bad ones ran through my head...
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I didn't get married to pay CS later in life.
http://home.cmit.net/rwolbeck/childsupport
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 2891
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[quote]Welcome to this miserable thing called life!
Well sounds to me like hes not beating you or anything crazy like that. Guess he's just a good old fashion looser. Guess its time to honor those vows you took... Remember those? "sickness and health....good times or bad"?
I'd say if your going to bail on him at least you can do is not try to find a way to screw him over. Otherwise he may just shoot himself.... and there is no collecting child support from that. Oh, in case your wondering. All men consider suicide when faced with divorce. At least I did. [/quote]
Sickness and Health doesn't include staying with an alcoholic who refuses to stop drinking.
That is no way to raise a child.
And she should do exactly what she is doing, get child support and look into alimony while she gets herself an education.
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