Divorce Support Forums: Biological dad is "daddy!"

Divorce Poison. It's an easey read, but before you read that, google Parental ALienation Syndrome.

Bottom line, fight with the ex to FORCE the issue of having reasonable time (including holidays and vacations) with this child, it won't make it hard on the daughter if your fights result in her seeing her REAL daddy.

What the hell books could this woman be reading which would suggest TELLING a child to call the step "daddy"? I've heard of letting the child make a decision, but actually teaching the child that the alienated father is not daddy is just weird.

But as long as your fiancee is not fighting for time with his daughter, he'll get more and more alienated and unknown to her over time and the reality of it is that he will have contributed to it by stepping back and allowing the mother to do thiw thing... there are some people who would suggest that a parent who is doing the alienating is being abusive. It's hard to understand the reality of that without recognizing that even though the child buys into it (they'll buy into anything the person who butters thier bread says, generally), this is the thing that ends up in causing the child's grades to go down, their risk of teenage pregnancy, drinking, drug use and other inappropriate behavior is created. Generally, intentionally convincing a kid that half their DNA is not worth thinking about or spending time with or talking to is CREATING an "at risk" kid.

And you're right, it kind of defies explanation, these people act like all is well in their new lives and they've moved on, so you'd THINK they wouldn't need to be so resentful & evil and wrong-minded about thier children's other parent... but it doesn't seem to matter. For some, it's a psychiatric problem (another reason to keep the other parent in thier lives, so that the psychiatrically impaired one won't be thier sole example of adulthood as they grow up)... for others, it's simply easier to consider moving on wthout any contact whatsoever (and the needs of the child are really not considered in this decision).

Good luck, but tell your fiancee to start demanding that she comply with the parenting plan regarding visitation and especially vacation time. AND if he's not gone back to court to demand a change of time since her move (so that he gets MORE of the holidays and vacations than before her move) he needs to do this. He's going to also probably need some sessions with a therapist and his daughter in order for a therapist (disinterested third party) to help the daughter understand that it's OK to love her real daddy and that she does NOT have to choose between her parents even though her mother has been suggesting otherwise.

GOOD LUCK.