Hello...I want to divorce my husband. We've only been married for a little over a year and a half. I found out he cheated on me before we got married and ended up finding out about it a few months later and I'm very unhappy and can no longer trust him and...well...I'll spare everyone the rest of the details ...but we tried counseling but its not working so now I want a divorce. I moved away from my family and close friends to be with him...so I literally don't have any physical support around me except for him. So I want to make this process as easy and painless as possible. We don't have any children...only a co-op we own together. We don't share any stocks or 401k plans. So I'm hoping our divorce can be easy? We also don't have a lot of money..so I'm wondering if we even have to spend money on a lawyer or even a mediator??? they are both pretty expensive. I heard we can just file for a divorce online? Anybody have any advice they can give me?? I'm fairly young (25) and obviously new to the world of divorce. Help!
My stbx and I tried mediation, and in my experience it's worthless if you and your husband are in agreement. If not, then I would suggest you do see a mediator or lawyer. If you are in agreement, you can download a divorce settlement agreement from the internet, which is what we did. We basically agreed on mostly everything so we did it ourselves.
Here is a website that has an example that you can copy and paste onto a word document and fill out.... http://www.ilrg.com/forms/divorce-nc-setag/us/nj just copy the sample they have. That's what we did. It does have to get notarized which will be a few bucks.
Don't feel that you have to be forced to agree to anything you don't feel comfortable about. You might want to take the agreement to a lawyer before signing if you don't feel comfortable with it. Fill it out, have the lawyer look it over and then sign it. Lawyer fees would probably run you about $150 to have him look over the papers.
Once that is done, you can file for divorce. I did go to the Court to get the papers, but nothing fit my situation and I didn't want to get anything wrong, so my stbx went to a lawyer to have him file for divorce. I believe he said it was about $700 but I don't trust what he says so I don't know. I know filling in NJ is about $250.
Now that's when it got complicated for me, because his lawyer didn't send the papers correctly when I got the summons. So that made me have to get my own lawyer, $1500 retainer fee for him. But it seems that things are on their way right now. I'm waiting for a court date and a few things that I have to send my lawyer this week.
I hope this helps you. You can PM me if you have any questions.
Sorry you are going thru this, but hang in there.
-------------------- She's figured out all her doubts were someone else's point of view - Green Day
I basically agree with Cari115, but you don't even NEED a lawyer. It's your choice, to protect yourself if you feel it necessary, but I for one didn't use a lawyer and I'm not regretting it. I and my ex were civil. The divorce wasn't easy, but we were civil.
As for the mediator; Save your money. Anything a mediator can do, you and your STBX can do yourselves. If you can't agree on things now, a mediator will most likely not help anyways.
-------------------- I didn't get married to pay CS later in life.
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