JAnderson
New
Reged: 02/14/08
Posts: 1
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Hi all, thanks for taking the time to read this.
My wife and I are at the end of it, or maybe it's the beginning. I now live in a seperate room in the same house. The tension is thick and my wife keeps threatening to take my son and leave to where I can never find her.
I have been the primary care taker of my son for about 3 years now while she was in the Army. Just recently got out of the service diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. My wife has been diagnosed with PTSD and Fibromyalgia has a whole score of mental problems. I believe her to be unstable and very possibly bi-polar.
There are many times when I fear her anger/temper. She isn't physically abusive but definitly verbally abusive.
It's been a long 7 years and I just want out..but don't want to lose my son. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you.
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hchater
New
Reged: 04/11/08
Posts: 6
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Take her threats seriously! get a digital recorder next time she makes that threat have it on tape. then get an emergency injunction from the court to protect your children!
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ILMom
Gold
Reged: 12/03/07
Posts: 145
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My ex was a drug addict and bipolar. I totally understand what you are saying about the verbal abuse. There is a feeling that they are entitled to everything and all their problems are your fault.
In my case, he tried to commit suicide during a drug overdose- would have killed the entire family with carbon monoxide poisoning if he's gone through with it. I got an order of protection after he went into the psyche ward. That was the best decision I ever made! You are going to need proof of her abuse. Some states don't allow audio or video recordings unless the other person agrees. Do you have any witnesses? Has she ever physically hurt you or your kids? You need to start documenting immediately (even if its just a diary) and calling the police so they can document for you.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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[quote]Take her threats seriously! get a digital recorder next time she makes that threat have it on tape. then get an emergency injunction from the court to protect your children! [/quote]
Before you do the above, find out if it is legal. Some states, you need both parties consent. Or it isn't admissable, at all.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2266
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Before you do the above, find out if it is legal. Some states, you need both parties consent. Or it isn't admissable, at all.
>>>>>>>>>>> That's only for taped phone conversations .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2266
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File for divorce ( or just custody if it's allowed in your state ) and request a restraining order preventing either party from removing the child from the jurisdiction of the court .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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[quote]Before you do the above, find out if it is legal. Some states, you need both parties consent. Or it isn't admissable, at all.
>>>>>>>>>>> That's only for taped phone conversations . [/quote]
Again, check and see if taping a conversation without the other person knowing it or giving consent is legal in your state. It doesn't matter if it is phone or in person, if it's illegal, it's not admissable.
An actual lawyer in your state should be able to answer the question of legality.
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 1065
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As far as I know live audio taping of a conversation, even if the recorder is hidden, is not illegal in any state provided that at least one of the parties knows about the recorder and there is nothing but air between the recorder and the those speaking. It may nonetheless not be admitted by a court.
http://www.rcfp.org/taping/states.html
Edited by jbar (04/12/08 04:23 PM)
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tookway2much
Platinum
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 627
Loc: Going toward the light!
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I agree, tape her, get a lawyer and get coustody before she does do something stupid. She appears to unstabe to care for a child. She is proving she is capable of huting your son, by threatening to disappear with him, How will that affect his security if you are out of his life completely? Crazy B@#$&
only thinking of herself.
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I don't worry about the people in my past. There is a reason they are not in my future.
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tookway2much
Platinum
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 627
Loc: Going toward the light!
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It can be used if you tell her you are taping her.
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I don't worry about the people in my past. There is a reason they are not in my future.
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 1065
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===========================================================
It can be used if you tell her you are taping her.
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I would go over the most pertinent material first with her, while taping it, over the 'phone. I wouldn't tell her I am taping it (legal in Texas).
I would then meet her in person to discuss matters, show her the recorder, and ask her--on a new tape--if I can tape the conversation. Thinking that she would be able to make only the most self-serving and guarded comments, and not wishing to go on tape as refusing and thus possibly appearing as having something to hide, she would agree.
After asking her a few innocuous questions and discussing a few general matters about which we already agree, I would ask her if she remembers the telephone conversation we had. Being unaware I had taped it she would admit this. I would then pull out a note pad and inform her that I took the liberty of making a few notes during our conversation and, progressively, ask her to verify increasingly compromising statements she had made, baiting her into "clarifying" them in a self-serving and acquitting manner. If she took exception to any of my notes I would tell her "we can come back to that later if you wish".
Having gotten her to admit--directly or indirectly-- all of the comments she had previously made on tape and which she was willing to respond to, I would then return to the points she had denied and reveal to her that I had discovered that my automatic taping system had, unbeknown to me, been on during our conversation, the call had been recorded, and was available to clarify the questions she had avoided in the present conversation. I would ask her if she would like to go through it with me to resolve the correctness of my notes. Whether she did or not, I would proceed to play the relevent sections to "jog" her memory, then asking if she recalls saying that.
When finished, I would have a tape containing her consent for its creation, but which should contain every self-comprising or incriminating comment she previously made, in addition to her obviously being evasive and coming off as a liar if she tries to reject, deny anything or even walk out at any point when I am playing the first tape.
Based on what I understand about the laws involved, such a tape should be admissable, having been made with her clear permission.
Edited by jbar (04/13/08 04:42 PM)
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