Union #12
New
Reged: 12/05/07
Posts: 2
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My wife wanted the divorce after 14 years of marriage. We agreed to go to one lawyer and decided on everything ourselves. We split everything 50-50. Our children, ages 17 and 13, are going to live 50-50 with both of us. I am keeping the house due to me being able to afford it financialy, and so our kids have some stability in their lives. We agreed neither would pay child support or alomony to one another. Now she is on her own she wants $400 a month for her expenses.
She went to a lawyer after papers were signed. The lawyer told my ex-wife I was obligated to pay her money and that she could take me back to court anytime if needed for a " lifestyle change" if I get a new job, get remarried, ect... I would rather go back to court then have her threatning court all the time.
Since everything was agreed and already signed and filed I was wanting to know if she has any grounds on taking me back to court. I asked why I owed her money. Her response is thatI make more money then her and that is the way it is.The mother always gets child support even if custody is 50-50. Is there any truth to her alligations on me owing her money and being able to take me to court for changes in life styles. Neither of us has primary custody it is strictly jointcustody.
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2confused
Silver
Reged: 03/19/07
Posts: 59
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Hmm....sounds like you both were in agreement uncontested as it is called, she got what she wanted and now she has changed her mind.She should have accepted this change in her "lifestyle". She has went to a lawyer with a "pitty Party" and you must remember the winners in a divorce are the Lawyers. He sees a way to make a buck! My advice would be to get a GOOD attorney and be prepaired to fight her like a rabid dog trying to bite your a--! My divorce took almost 9 months a friend of mine 2 years. If you do go back to court get it in you settlement that it can not ever be reopened. My attorney was smart and done this for me (child support is the only issue that can go back to court in my case).I dont think she has a leg to stand on because you both agreed on the terms. Get a GOOD Lawyer in you area. Dont drag you feet on this because it will give her more time to think on how she can try to screw you over.But for the most part look out for your children. Good Luck
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Child support is always modifiable meaning she can bring you back to court and request more.
Alimony can be modifiable too. Your lawyer probably had you both sign an alimony waiver. You would think that would prevent her from changing her mind. Unless the waiver was written specifically as a non-modifiable agreement, she can bring you back in to court for that too.
She does have to have justification besides changing her mind before the court will consider reopening the issues. There has to be some change of circumstance and that's where this "lifestyle change" comes in to play.
If she does manage to get the court to hear it (an I predict she will), I predict you will be ordered to pay her. Tread lightly and be sure you have a lawyer on retainer.
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Union #12
New
Reged: 12/05/07
Posts: 2
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So what is the purpose of agreeing on terms and signing if she can keep takeing me back to court. She has already signed that no child support or alamony was wanted to start out with. My children are well taken care of, so why must I support her and her spending habits.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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"So what is the purpose of agreeing on terms and signing if she can keep taking me back to court."
You've got to start somewhere. The initial agreement sets the status-quo. She can bring it back to court but the onus is on her to show that there's been a change of circumstance since the original agreement and to give persuasive justification for the new award.
It is possible to enter into non-modifiable alimony agreements if they're specifically called out as such in the initial agreement.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2108
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I believe your ex is seeking child support. She is correct, in that the the parent that makes the most money pays child support. Regretfully, anything in your decree that is not within the scope of the law, such as no child support, is not enforcible, and you will have to pay. If you go to allaw.com, there is a child support calculator that would tell you if the $400 figure is accurate.
It could be much worse. I know someone in a similar situation to yourself. She gave up over $400,000 in
equity, cars and possessions in lieu of child support, and a month later, their ex filed for support...and got it. Her mistake cost her about another 1/2 million in future support. Good luck.
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justBfair
New
Reged: 08/21/07
Posts: 16
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My question is who is the custodial parent? You said that you share the children 50-50, but usually someone is the custodial parent, unless you have joint custody. Even with joint, you may have to pay child support. Also, keep in mind that joint can probably be taken away in court, as in Illinois there has to be a 100% agreement by both parties to have joint, or it's not an option. So, if she is the custodial parent, or changes it to that by taking you back to court, then you'll have to pay child support. Yes, she has the right to take you back anytime there is a "change of circumstance", and i don't think that has to be much. Maybe you two not agreeing on something with respect to the joint custody could be her circumstance, OR that she wishes for the child support to be issued because she needs it. It happened in my case, something like that, so I know. Sorry
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infinity386
Gold
Reged: 02/24/08
Posts: 124
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This is going to sound crazy.... but, here it is.
Pay and be done. I am not saying you have to give her 400 a month. But maybe you can figure out a way to give her something. Be creative. look at your assets. There are usually a lot of creative ways to make your x happy, but because emotions boil over we don't even try.
Well I was paying my X child support every month. In addition I was spending just under equal time with my child.
However, one day my X car broke down. She asked me to help get her another one. I was like "are you out of your flaming flipping mind!" Biggest mistake I made. I could have easily scraped up 3,000 to help buy her a used car. I decided not to and found myself in a court battle that cost me 4 years of my life and my entire life savings... Wish I could go back in time to help buy another car.
After the legal fees you will pay and the amount of time in court, you may be better off paying her. Now if you simply cant afford then you don't have a choice. But if you can, you may want to swallow the crow and save your self some money.
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