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startingtoday
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Reged: 02/26/08
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Your advice please.
      #181501 - 02/26/08 10:42 AM (71.164.68.94)
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Ok, here's my situation. I have been married for a little over 10 years, 2 kids 7&9yrs.old, my wife and I own our house together. I have always been a work-aholic and untill recently she, a stay at home mom. Because She had the time she handled the finances and I just brought home the check. Now this is where I dropped the ball, A couple of times in the last 8 years she hasnt paid thing's on time and it's gottn us into trouble. She gets very angry when I question her about bills and it always ends up in a argument with her saying I dont trust her. Needles to say I just work like a dog to get us going again. Well she claimes 2 weeks ago that bills are fine untill last night when she wakes me up at 11:30 and they are repoing her truck! At this point I cant take anymore!! My concern is this, Last fall I started what is looking to be a very profitable buisness, She has been against this since day 1 and now Im starting to wonder with the direction things are going, is she entitled to any of this buisness if we split up? It kills me inside to think about what spliting up may do to our kids! Sorry for the long post, Any advice would be great. Thanks, startingtoday

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KGrow
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Re: Your advice please. [Re: startingtoday]
      #181522 - 02/26/08 12:01 PM (24.8.144.220)
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Since it was started during the marriage, she will have a stake in the business. Divorce will be financially difficult for you.

She's obviously being very defensive around money. That could be because she's insecure about not making any. Don't stop discussion when she accuses you of not trusting her. You have good reason to want to be more involved in the finances. Ask her what you can do to help.


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startingtoday
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Re: Your advice please. [Re: KGrow]
      #181529 - 02/26/08 12:19 PM (71.164.69.146)
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Thanks for the reply, I was wondering if I could work out a way of giving in on some stuff in exchange for her signing somthing stating that she dosnt support my buisness or desire to ever play a role in it(which she has told me before).Would a document like this help me? I have a friend who is a partner, soI dont want this to screw up the new buisness.
Maybe I should just take over my bills close our joint accounts and handle my own finances. She now has a decent job at a bank so she can handle her own bills, Kinda like whats mine is mine and whats your is yours?
Then just try to get along a few more years till the kids get older? Thanks again.


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KGrow
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Re: Your advice please. [Re: startingtoday]
      #181535 - 02/26/08 12:36 PM (24.8.144.220)
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A signed agreement that the business is yours may backfire on you in that she could claim it an admission that you recognized she had a stake in it.

You might consider selling your share of the business to your partner and becoming an employee.


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2narnara2
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Reged: 02/09/08
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Re: Your advice please. [Re: startingtoday]
      #181799 - 02/27/08 12:41 PM (67.189.211.122)
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You are talking about finances...but what about your marriage. Why do you want to get a divorce? Just because she messes up paying the bills? Then just take that over.
Or is that you and her have grown apart or there is no love left? Why are you thinking about getting a divorce?


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liteblue
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Re: Your advice please. [Re: KGrow]
      #181886 - 02/27/08 06:37 PM (76.180.139.126)
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A similar thing happened to a friend years ago. In the end his business was taken by back taxes. I look at this situation as your wife has proven herself on more than one occasion to not be able to handle the responsibility of the finances. It's time for you to take over all the finances. I'm somewhat confused why you let her do this when you state that she paid things late in the past. It's also time to consult a lawyer and do what necessary to retain your business. Sorry if I sound harsh, but when I was married I didn't handle the finances because he was better at it. I did the things I was good at, he handled what he was good at.

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CPALAWYER
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Re: Your advice please. [Re: startingtoday]
      #194525 - 04/08/08 02:09 PM (24.89.156.170)
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If the matter is litigated, the parties can agree to use an Appraiser to value the business. If you cannot agree on an Appraiser, you will both hire your own Appraiser. Expect to pay a retainer fee of $5,000.00 to each Appraiser. The business will be valued in terms of Fair Market Value and also the income that it provides to you. All extra perks, such as cars, meals and otherwise will be added back as income. Good luck.

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