2112
New
Reged: 02/18/08
Posts: 24
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correct me if im wrong, I belive Pa is a no fault state.
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lrk1
Silver
Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 94
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You are wrong. PA is a "fault" state, however you must have proof.
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Spadea
Bronze
Reged: 12/06/07
Posts: 33
Loc: Suburb of Philly
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I have plenty of proof of the affair including her admissions in writing. I have more than enough documentation of the where, when, how long, etc. I even have documentation from the babysitter she used detailing her ventures outside the home, phone records, text messages, notes, credit card receipts, a detailed time line from her. And you know what this means, absolutely nothing. No one ever files for a fault divorce in PA i guess it just never happens. It could take years, from what I am told and is basically frowned upon by the court systems.
Which leaves me where I am today, $40K in debt, paying her over $8k per month in CS, Spousal Support, mortgage payments, childs tuitions, Home Equity Credit Lines, etc. which currently equals 114% of my monthly salary. I live in a one bedroom apartment I rent from a friend at a huge discount, she lives in a six bedroom home which is currently on the market for $1.2 million which should have been on the market months ago but she choose to interview five separate Realtors until she found the one that she approved of. She refuses to sign the tax return which will cost me an additional $7702 between the difference of my refund and what I will owe filing separately.
She has primary custody of the kids but over the last three weeks, I have had them 42% of the time, her 34% of the time and the remaining time they are with babysitters and a daycare - did I mention to you she is a "Stay at Home Mother" who is so struggling that she just hired a personal trainer at $1200 per month? She bought herself a $572 purse for Christmas, went on a ski vacation and paid for herself and her boyfriend (not the one she had the 7 month affair with, yet a new one to introduce to our children). And to top it all off, in the three weeks we have had an actual custody order in place with the courts she has violated the "right of first refusal" for overnight visits twice and two other clauses at least once - and laughs in my face when it is brought up in the course of conversation.
To make things even better, I am not allowed to enter the house without her permission -which she no longer gives me under any circumstances and over the last two weekends has been taking all of the possessions out of the house to be stored at her parents house because, as she tells me, everything in the house is currently hers and until the courts tell her to divide up the assets she will continue to take them home until there is nothing left but the cat.
Sorry to vent, but this is not exactly what I signed up for when I could no longer take the fact my wife had a boyfriend with a 1-yr. old and 4-yr. old at home.
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lrk1
Silver
Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 94
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I in the same boat as you, divorcing because my STBX had an affair (and still going on). I filed no-fault, however my lawyer said that it will all be brought up in court and will have a bearing as far as custody and settlement, so it really isn't necessary to file At-Fault. I guess I am a little confused as far as where you are in the divorce. I assume you went to domestics for the custody and support, but have you settled yet? Feel free to Private message me if you want to discuss any further.
You might want to post on the main boards, all you have to do is sign up. There are alot of people that can give you good advice and support.
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Spadea
Bronze
Reged: 12/06/07
Posts: 33
Loc: Suburb of Philly
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Relatively far along. Been to domestic relations where all they do is review your tax return, mine was from 2006 where I made $20k more than I did in 2007. I am on the hook for the entire mortgage, home equity and pre-school payments plus another $2587 for CS and Support. Our support meeting in front of the court is scheduled for March 3rd and at least I am able to present evidence at that time. We did the mediation without success, and at the custody concilation meeting I got hammered because she is a stay at home mom, living in a huge house which I pay for and because of the kids ages they though it was best that she get primary custody even though I asked for joint custody. Not only has she already violated the court order on three separate occassions in less than three weeks, I was informed this evening that she will be taking a vacation Wednesday-Sunday and that I can either have the kids or they will be staying elsewhere during the time when she is away. Now I have to take the kids over a five day period and still try and work during this time. Meanwhile she will be spending well over $1500 on her vacation of which I financed entirely. She even went as far to tell me she purchased the airline tickets for her new boyfriend. Knowing what I know now, I am not certain what I would have done.
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lrk1
Silver
Reged: 10/17/07
Posts: 94
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Haven't been to domestics because he won't leave so I haven't been through what you have been through. I would just try to hurry the divorce along as fast as possible. I am sure that you will be required to sell the house unless she is able to buy you out, which doesn't sound possible. Does she live with her boyfriend? If she does that might come into play with the spousal support and CS. If you haven't already I would get the discovery process going. He hasn't given me what we requested so we are taking him to court. If you don't mind me asking, who filed first?
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Spadea
Bronze
Reged: 12/06/07
Posts: 33
Loc: Suburb of Philly
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I filed everything first, divorce for custody, etc. She does not live "full time" with her boyfriend and the custody agreement does not allow overnight visits while the kids are there - which has been violated almost daily. The house is on the market to be sold but in a soft Real Estate market, it could be months.
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