mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3257
Loc: Florida
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I read it once in a while as an ongoing saga...I think t's easier to read than others.
I think the situation is sad.
WWIL, how old is your wife & her mother?
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2461
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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[quote]I read it once in a while as an ongoing saga...I think t's easier to read than others.
I think the situation is sad.
[/quote]
your right,
i mean it IS sad, but
basically drama free.
and barely qualifies as a saga
aside from the thread being a
continuation..by the op.
not much need for input,
no kids to deal with and the poster really is
past all this emotionally.
the story is basically bland and uneventful.
the stbx wife's 'mommy' occasionally causing some
wrinkles. by'yelling' at the OP? or 'calling him'
whoo hoooo...!!/????
the op will be on the path tho healing when he has some
friends and such to share this stuff with.
then he'll see its really a-okay. the funny stuff..isnt.
and this divorce is going to be a nonevent for the most part. he can then move out and move on and get a new girlfriend who DOESTN have a MILDLY annoying mom. lol.
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taryn.
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 1066
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===========================================================
I read it once in a while as an ongoing saga...I think t's easier to read than others.
===========================================================
This man's torment is not presented here for your entertainment or amusement. His story is really a veiled plea for more rational and just divorce law which, no doubt, you would both oppose tooth and nail.
He has been put in an impossible situation by anti-male and feminist law, which conveniently shifts the burden of a woman's lifetime support to her EX husband for no other reason but that he was foolish enough to marry her while, at the same time, being careful not to discard even the slightest shred of antiquated property law, if it can be used in favor of a female. I hope and pray that he will not, in desperation, harm himself or anyone else, but if such a thing should happen I hope you will learn of it and have to live with your guilt for the rest of your lives.
Before you reply that such law is fair and equal because it would apply to the woman if the situation were reversed, I have seen how far courts will go out of their way to avoid this and give her a pass. Furthermore, even if the law would be applied equally in the opposite situation, it would be a rare case indeed where the woman did the work to buy the house and has an income (generated by hard work) with which to pay alimony to a disabled husband for the rest of his life. Any argument that gender equality presently exists in divorce law in this country just doesn't hold water, and I'm tired of hearing such hoary nonsense.
Shame on you both!
Edited by jbar (08/02/08 02:11 AM)
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3257
Loc: Florida
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Nobody said it was amusing...and you wouldn't know if I've PM'd the poster and discussed the unfairness of his situation.
To think, I was "shamed" by JBAR...lol
Get over yourself Mr. I live on disability JBAR. Your rants are all the same and no this poster isn't looking to change divorce law...he's looking for support through his situation. If we don't read his posts then we can't offer him any support.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 760
Loc: PA
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[quote]I read it once in a while as an ongoing saga...I think t's easier to read than others.
I think the situation is sad.
WWIL, how old is your wife & her mother? [/quote]
wife mid 40s and her mom 60ish i think.
past few days wife has been doing well helping me sort her stuff and i've packed it all very well in bubble wrap etc. Almost ready for her moms visit next week and the inevitable fact that her mom will try to get her to move away sooner than later. I told my wife stay to get the finances settled and that her atty prob wouldnt like moving away plus she has more to pack and hasnt even begun looking thru pics or transferring DR records etc. I cant imagine running a D from 4 hours away though i guess the atty can call her and send her letters but i just picture this Really slowing down if she leaves. something neither of us wants.
then she HAS to come for court in 2 months anyway so why not just stay? (though i hope alimony is settled by then)
Plus there are things like transferring car titles, and getting the house refied etc and i cant do them without her even if the decisions are made.
i'm still frustrated that her atty officially hasnt asked for a thing nor any financial stuff other than what i've just given.
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3257
Loc: Florida
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I did my divorce from 1300 miles away, so I'm sure you could accomplish yours with her 400 miles away. My attorney went to court for me and I attended via phone. After the settlement was done, I signed all papers through the mail. When my ex refinanced the house to get me off the loan, this was also mailed to me and I just brought it to the local bank to notarize it. The process wasn't slowed by the mailing issue...just by my ex dragging his feet to try and get out of claiming proper income for child support and daycare.
So I wouldn't let it concern you too much if she moves ahead of the finalization.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 760
Loc: PA
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i just found out (dont ask me how) that she wants 40-50 k from the house plus alimony or will force me to sell it. She must be smoking something because 2 years before i married her i paid 130 for it and her own appraisal says 200 so 1/2 of that is 35K. Not 40k! Plus i have 13K of equity in there pre marriage
her atty hopefully will set her straight. And that selling the house will net her 'nothing' since no one is gonna buy it in its run down shape especially in this market. Or if they do it wont be anywhere near 200K. She's just being unrealistic or maybe even vindictive (making me sell while knowing she gets zip)
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3257
Loc: Florida
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A lot of people take the strategy of starting high in order to negotiate.
I'd say if she's starting at $15000 too high, then you should start at $15000 too low and meet in the middle.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 760
Loc: PA
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i guess thats her strategy..now if she let me out of high alimony id give her the 40K but you know how likely that is! Plus that high of 2nd mortgage for me means less money for alimony so it just cant work out that way. Even if i wanted to
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 760
Loc: PA
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here are the Days Of Our Lives..continued
today I have an appt at 5. Her shrink changed her Wed. appt to today at 6 then i told my wife no, i have my appt at 5. Her shrink told her that she should take a cab to be more independent..so she called friday to find out about a cab etc but decided she didnt wanna take one.
So today she called her DR and found out the appt could be moved to 5pm because of a cancellation. So my wife thought she had it all worked out and that my appt was 1/2 hour but it's really 1 hour. i said no, i cant get you until 615 or so.She said oh. (plus i'm stopping at a friends to get moving boxes)
So then she calls me back and says can you take me to the store to get a magazine to read before you go to your appt so i have something to read for an hour?
i said ummmmm we have 100 mags behind the front door, if you are saying you dont want them ill move them and just read them myself. She said well she wants a special one (no doubt her enquirer!). I said we can go to the minimarket before my appt to see if they have one but the regular store is too far with my time crunch. So why she needs her darn new smut mag is beyond me. But now she will get to her shrink 20 min early and then have to sit there outside 45 min. after her shrink leaves for the day and i come get her...i'm shocked she is willing to do that. what a mess...good thing it's nice outside and the woman has a chair to sit on! But then she will complain that her back hurts from the sucky chair.
she should have just taken the darn cab. This DR is .3 miles from our house for goodness sakes!
What would you have done?
oh and i told her we need to start cleaning out her bureau and closet so i can wash what needs to be packed up. Yes i'm still doing everything for her but i need to so mentally i can say to myself 'self, you were good to her until the end and it's not your fault she wants all your money'
these are the days of our lives.
now back to your regular program
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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