Divorce Support Forums: now it's hitting the fan...maybe it's started

can we swear on here: %^&*(*&%$^&*()(*&^%$%^&*((*&^%^&*()*&^

ok here's how the weekend is going so far...forgive the crappy grammar and editing since i just emailed it to a friend and had to change the names to protect the innocent

why did i need to hear that the sandwich that her mom at 1/2 hour ago was coming thru and she needed to hit the throne? like i need to hear that shat. then wife stopped tivo and headed to the bathroom and her mom said 'is the chinese working thru' ...they went yesterday...she must have some fetish with bathroom and talking about where she goes and why she is going...&&&&&& nuts!

and now she just accuses me of lowering the heat..last night i upped it 2 degrees..but it's on auto and lowered overnight....and i didn't lower it!!..it's on auto...the batch...we just had a nice big fight while wife was out of the room...i told her i didnt lower it, it automatically lowers...and she is wrong for accusing me...then she gets into it about me not helping wife etc..she said she cant wait for us to be D and wishes she could help wife hate me but wife cares about me....and i said i care about her..then she went into this long thing about me not helping close car doors and walking her to the car and shat like that...then said with house as cluttered as mine no wonder wife is depressed, i said most of the stuff on sofa is from other sofa cushion and then her computer and other stuff...and also stuff in dining room is from her packing to go...she said why start now, i said will take months to do so why not start it now...i said also if you told me you were coming we'd know and i could have cleaned up..she said she iddnt know needs an invitation and i said now you know...even wife doesnt like your surprises. So she said she now will call when she leaves home (yea right). Then said she is over medicated so thats why shes in bad shape and kept saying that some people just arent cut out to take care of invalids..i said well she wont quit smoking, she wont reduce her meds, she wont change doctors, wont try at all to help herself. I said what should i do, take away her pills...and as far as going out i explained that we told the therpist that im tired of asking her out and getting rejected and so i told wife to tell me when she is able to go out and we will go out..i said what should i do, force her out when she is sick? And you see her life is tv and i hate it but what can i do? So yea i sit here on computer so at least im here with her

get this..she said if i go out with my women i shouldn't tell wife where i go or what fun i have and should keep it discrete, i said first off they are only friends and 2nd off i think its' rude to not tell her where i am going or what i am doing. But hell now i can tell wife i'm going out and her mom said i shouldnt tell you with who or where i am going so i will NOT tell her anymore what i'm doing. If thats how it's supposed to be. i said she is discounting all i did in the past and she said no i'm not, but you need to encourage her. i said i cant force her to do anything and she's obviously just repeating what wife parroted to her.

her mom said she is here and will be coming to check on wife and that she will check up and see if 65 degrees is a safe temperature for her daughter to be sitting in. She then offered to pay for the extra heat while she is here but i sure wouldnt touch her money since she doesnt wash her hands. ick. But the thing about how i intentionally set the heat down pissed me off. I siad it's automatic and i havent touched it since yesterday. i said i told you i have an automatic thermostat and you even bought one since i said it was so good so i dont know how you can say that it changed it automatically.

she said that when i sit here talking to other women online its disrespectful and i said sitting here watching tv is boring for me but i think it's good im in the room with her at least. She disagreed. Then she said wife needs to find things to do and thats when i said hey, when she got the computer, i told her to use it and asked every day if she did, she told me she will do it when she is good and ready..so i stopped asking....and about cigs, i said i used to beg wife to quit but everytime i mentioned it wife said she isnt ready and reset the quitting clock...i said i would do anything, take her anywhere etc but she needs to take responsibility for asking me. I admitted i'm done asking because i cant take the continual suggestion

her continually saying i cant handle takign care of wife pissed me off but at least now she knows i cant, for whatever reason, and sees its better to get her out of here. Also she mentioned about the mold and i reminded her of the cig smoke too. At least she brought her own water so didnt blame that on me this time that she has to run to the bathroom so much. . she said when enter the house it smells and does something to her...and probably wife...so i said well maybe its good she gets out of here too. She kept saying she ddint show up to make trouble but just to montior wife and her well being..i said hey i'm doing everytihng i'm supposed to be doing here and stuff i've always done..she said that's because you have to and i said no its because i want to. Plus i dont see a thing what she did this week to help wife along the leaving process. At least with the house such a mess and all the issues maybe even she will agree there is no equity in it lol. I was glad i got to speak my piece to her and who knows, may even get to anymore. But her attempt to make her kid look like she is an angel didnt work with me. She really appeared to not know half the stuff that went on here. So i had to tell her. The smoking, refusal to try anything etc just has me at wits end. She said you cant force someone to quit smoking etc. oh get this, her mom just said she iddnt want wife to go to rite aid with her because she cant carry her wheelchair anymore..welcome to my world..she said it was PITA to take it in an out. I'm thikning lady, i do this all the time and what nerve to batch that i'm not taking care of wife when you just complained about doing something for your own kid. Of course she will complain that i didnt go to offer but i dont want to let her down that i 'dont care' about her daughter. Why not reinforce what she believes?

there may be more but thats it for now

i dotn know if wife heard a lot of this but assured ill tell her later on ...its obvious wife tells her only the bad not the good.
UGH

the mom hates to drive so i dont think visits will be all that frequent to be honest and i know she is bored stiff out here...she talks tough but wont put up like that. Plus her other kid is moving in with her in a month..do i think she will let them all alone back home since he is her favorite? NAH

oh and i told her that wife overmedicates on 2x the patches and that is not right...she said that is taken care of now but didnt say how..just that she is down to one patch.

the way i have to look at all this is that her mom really has no clue what my life is like and she probably isnt looking forward to having to help her out in the future. Although for her not liking her mom and her mom saying last year that they dont get along, they sure are lovely dovey this week. So i can tell my wife looks like you guys do get along and you will be ok

o she brought up about me not having any male friends and i said i never did since day one so wife knows that and the fact that wife has no friends isnt my fault, i want a life...and she said well thats part of the problem

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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.