mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3257
Loc: Florida
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I'd sign a post nup .... IF .... and here's a big IF ...if it spelled out exactly what he intended for my part in the relationship was to be and how I was going to be compensated for that. In plain terms, if I'm to be caretaker of kids & house along with my part-time job while he works endless hours building a business that wouldn't be possible without my support at home...how am I to be compensated for that? My husband is into real estate and rentals...if he were to ask me to sign a post-nup, I would want to know how much work he wanted me to continue to do at the rentals and how I was going to be compensated for that...same with purchasing new properties, if I'm putting my time into that...if I'm taking care of the house & kids 24/7 while he pursues that than how would I be compensated. Right now we share in our responsibilities and maybe it's not always shared equally but we are both working together toward a common goal. If that common goal changes, than so should either the amount of responsibility or the amount of compensation.
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Ang22007
Platinum
Reged: 06/05/07
Posts: 299
Loc: NM
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Mistake has good points, but I would be so offended by even being asked (let alone be pressured) to sign a post nup! I actually don't think I had ever heard of one. You guys are supposed to be a team, working toward the same goals! I think him threatening an either or signals he wants a divorce but wants to protect his assets before hand. I don't like it tired, I am so sorry.
I wish you the best.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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Quote:
I'm sorry about that, but divorce sucks. My wife wants a divorce, I have to pay child support. Guess what, I go from living in a really nice 3000 sq ft home in a nice neighborhood to an old 1500 sq ft home built in 1962. She's getting a brand new townhouse that's even nicer than our current house, of course with the help of my child support payments. She's been getting raises that far outpace mine. Other than reducing the amount of my child support, do you think I will see an improvement in my life because of that?
I'm not trying to be harsh and others may give different advice and opinions. If the post-nup is not something you want to sign and neither one of you is going to go to counseling, than you may have no choice but to file divorce now.
When it comes to divorce, it's probably safe to say that neither side gets what they feels is 'fair'. Right now, he's probably saying 'I bust my butt by working 10-12 hour days to give my family the best things in life, allow my wife to stay at home and do whatever and this is the thanks I get?' Maybe the problem is that neither one of you fully appreciates what the other is doing because you have no idea what the other is doing. The relationship started down a path that is now headed out of control. Going to take more work to get it back than it did to get to where it is now.
He filed for divorce. That says a lot about what his intentions are.
Right now, you are in a better position than he is, settlement wise, and his attorney has probably told him that.
He is looking at alimony (how long depends on how long you have been married), child support (you are clearly the primary caretaker), having to give you at least half of all assets, including half the value of the business (if the business existed before you got married, then it is the half of the increase in value since the marriage). And this is in a community property state. If you live in an equitable distribution state, you could end up with more than half.
He's trying to prevent that by getting you to sign a postnup. He will probably temporarily drop the divorce. But then file again, using the post-nup that he is trying to coerce you into signing against you getting your share of the marital assets.
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tired123
Bronze
Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 30
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That's my worst scenario - he can file for divorce as soon as we divide all the assets. It's so hard to think this way about the person you thought is your "better half"... such a BS.
I'm just glad to have you guys, giving me some great thoughts and at some point opening my eyes as well. Still I'm so confused, scared and at the same time still have a little hope what he could be really upset and just wants to protect himself for some time giving me a lesson,making sure I'm not gonna toss that word over again, fell like I'm divided into half myself...That sucks completely.
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