justme1961
Silver
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 84
Loc: NH
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I will try to keep this short...
Been divorced 4 years...
I have custody of our 2 children 14 & 17. Last year my ex tried to get custody. Due to a juvenile issue with the 14 year old, he got temporary custody. That lasted 3 months, then he dropped the motion for custody and dropped my child of in my driveway and drove off. 17 year old never wanted to live with him. Child support was adjust when he first got custody-I am still fighting to get it back to where it should be-went to court 4 months ago for that. He makes 3 times as much as I do.
So here are my gripes-
1. He is in contempt for non-payment of alimony-for the third time. He currently owes me for 7 months.
2. He has NEVER paid his share of ANY extraordinary expenses, as stated in our divorce decree.
3. He has not spent a significant amount of time with the 14YO in months-the 17YO wants nothing to do with him.
4. The court ordered him to provide my lawyer with documentation of his income by last month. He never did.
5. Last month he stopped paying child support at all.
I am totally frustrated by his lack of cooperation, and the court does NOTHING to reprimand him. He went into court with a bid sob story about how he bought a huge house to accommodate all of the children (our 2 plus his new wife's 3(wife #4)). Well he foreclosed on that house 3 months ago after living there less than a year. I found out he had 100% financing on it, so he just walked away from it. (Why he had 100% financing is beyond me-I paid him over $40,000 for his share of the equity in our house when we divorced.)
I know he is hiding money outside the US (he travels abroad frequently). I was told so by his wife #3-who lives in a foreign country. She told me he deliberately hid money so he would not have to pay child support on it.
Now to top it off, my lawyer won't return my calls.
I am just so tired of the battle.
Edited by justme1961 (03/11/08 10:15 PM)
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allthumbs
Platinum
Reged: 07/12/07
Posts: 360
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It sucks when the dad won't be a dad, and is a dud instead. I cannot see where you can do much about him hiding money out of the country. If he makes it over seas and it never gets here, what are you gonna do? Hire a forensic accountant? The attorney is bailing on you because you don't have any more money. They only hang in there until all the funds have been depleted. Then they're history, unless you wave a wad of cash in front of them. If I were in your shoes, learn all you can about how the local family court procedures work and file a contempt motion for failure to pay CS and SS. And see if you can get the county to help you get the child support.
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justme1961
Silver
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 84
Loc: NH
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Thanks. I was afraid I might have to go it alone in order to get anywhere.
I just want to clarify one thing. My ex earns the money in the US, I think he is taking it out of the country and depositing in a foreign account. It probably doesn't make much difference though.
A few people have suggested having him arrested for contempt. Is that really possible?
Edited by justme1961 (03/11/08 10:14 PM)
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allthumbs
Platinum
Reged: 07/12/07
Posts: 360
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He can't be arrested until he is found guilty. And he can't be found guilty until the court says he is. The first thing is to file a motion for contempt. You are the one to do this. No one will do it for you. Also, if the money is earned here, then some employer somewhere is sending W-2's or 1099's to him. There is a record of it. And if there is a record, then it can be counted as income. Just because he takes income earned here and sends it overseas, that doesn't protect him. Unless he is paid in cash. Which is illegal but many do it for temporary work or "under the table" dealings.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2007
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Alimony is a different situation, but with CS, you certainly can file for a court hearing, and a judge will determine if contempt is in order. In most cases, you don't need an attorney.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3218
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[quote]Thanks. I was afraid I might have to go it alone in order to get anywhere.
I just want to clarify one thing. My ex earns the money in the US, I think he is taking it out of the country and depositing in a foreign account. It probably doesn't make much difference though.
A few people have suggested having him arrested for contempt. Is that really possible? [/quote]
I would ask that the child support, the alimony (as long as there is child support, they will collect this at the same time) and the money owed for extraordinary expenses get automatically garnishe from his wages. This way, he doesn't get to decide when he is going to pay.
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justme1961
Silver
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 84
Loc: NH
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Thanks for your posts.
A little more info...
I remarried in 2005. My ex stopped paying alimony even though our divorce decree stated he was to pay a set amount for 60 months. PERIOD-no mention of co-habitation or remarriage. He took it to court in 2006. He lost. He is so arrogant he put in a "motion for reconsideration" because the judge "didn't understand the situtation". He still lost. He had to pay all arrears plus my lawyer's fees.
Then last year, he stopped paying alimony again. My lawyer put in a motion for contempt. We had a hearing set. Just before the hearing, he paid me. So, my lawyer claims, I can't go after him for her fees. Her fees to collect that money were more than what he owed! He would never have paid if she didn't file a motion for contempt.
He is currently 6 months in arrears. This was brought up in our hearing on 11/29/07. I received the adjusted USO in January. It is a complete mess. A lot of things were crossed off and/or changed by hand. My lawyer put in a motion for reconsideration because there were also errors. Still waiting for the verdict on that-almost 2 months later.
He was ordered to provide documentation of his income in order to calculate arrears he owes me from last July through the present. He refuses to do so. Nothing happens.
He stole money from my son's bank account, without his knowledge. My son is furious because he won't pay it back.
He is a total slime. He will continue to be a total slime. And, it seems, there is nothing I can do about.
The court system is so backlogged. It takes forever and nothing gets resolved. He has had court dates continued because he conveniently arranges his travel to coincide with the court dates. Last October (the original date of our 11/29/07 hearing) he put in a motion for continuance and had his wife deliver it to the court the day he left the country-5 days before the scheduled hearing. The court had no choice but to continue the hearing.
Fortunately, my husband is very supportive. I know my ex wants me to give up. Why should I? 15 years married to that cheating jerk and I should let him continue to walk all over me?
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2007
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Fortunately, my husband is very supportive. I know my ex wants me to give up.
Follow your husband's advice, let it go, and NEVER look back or doubt your decision. It's the best choice you will ever make for yourself. Forgive your ex, and move on.
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