Thank you for all of the kind words. I am actually going to speak to my husband for the first time since we seperated about the state of our marriage, and what we are going to do. I want to talk to him but I am scared of what he will say. I know he is leaning more toward divorce (he has told me this), and he thinks too much has happened to put things back together. I mentioned counseling, but he thinks it is a total sham and waste of money, so he is against it. Please say a prayer for me, as I am meeting with him tonight. I feel like my life is in his hands. I know it sounds dramatic, but it is truly how I feel, I want things to work, but I can't do it alone.
I'm sorry you feel that way. You should never give anyone that much power, in fact you should demand some serious changes on his part before you are willing to take him back. If he doesn't realize how wrong what he did was, no matter how perfect the exterior may seem, he may end up in court ordered counseling some day. Nothing you said or did warrants being hit.
You are willing to work, he may be leaning towards divorce, which means he is contemplating running away from the problems (probably to compound them). Which is the stronger position? I am not saying divorce him, but if he won't work at it don't give up your self worth just to make things apear good again.