ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 2070
Loc: a better place :)
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has anybody had any experience with divorcecare for kids?
i really think my 9 year old could use some counseling, but i really can't afford it and my stbx thinks she's just fine so he won't contribute to the cost.
i know it is christian based, but we are not church going people. i was not raised in a church (other than holidays, weddings and funerals) and that has continued in my kids upbringing.
so, has anybody had experience with this group?
last night when i was thinking about my 9 year old and how things bother her, two things all of a sudden jumped out at me:
1. she always seems to have a look of worry on her face
2. she doesn't laugh anymore
that's not the daughter pre-seperation. my heart is breaking for her and i need to help her.
any input is appreciated.
thanks,
kat
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What you reap is what you sow and so it goes...
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InGodsHands31
New
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 18
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Divorce Care is wonderful, both for you and for kids. It provides you with the faith base that you probably need at this time in your life. It gave me incredible strength and my 8 year old loved it. It gave him a chance to see that he was not the only one going through this and he was able to express and learn about what he was feeling. He wanted to do the second session, but we did not, as I have him in private counseling.
He prays every night that the Lord will touch his dad's heart. I taught him that, but they reinforced the importance of prayer.
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melanie14
Platinum
Reged: 03/11/06
Posts: 3058
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I don't know about, is there a school counselor? Some counselor will do a sliding scale type plan. How is she getting along with her friends? How is school going?
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Mason
New
Reged: 01/22/08
Posts: 14
Loc: OKlahoma City
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Divorce Care for Kids is great! My daughter can't wait to go each week.
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ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 2070
Loc: a better place :)
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the school counselor stopped seeing them a couple of months ago. she said they were doing fine and they are ok. and she WAS, but only temporarily, but she's not now. for the most part she gets along with her friends, but her best friend's mom tells me that sometimes S will lash out at her daughter for no reason. and i don't doubt it at all. i've witnessed it myself. with her friends and her sister. school is going very well as far as school work, but she seems to have some problems with her friends. problems she never had before.
you know, i know my kid and i know when something isn't right. whenever she is with her dad, she calls me to come home. i don't let her, but it is a constant battle. and the new thing is that she just wants to come home because she's worried about me. she's worried that something is going to happen to me. what is that about?
i would pile all the pain on myself if i could take her's away. it's breaking my heart.
kat
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What you reap is what you sow and so it goes...
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teachlit
Gold
Reged: 12/28/06
Posts: 198
Loc: WI
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I don't know about divorcecare for kids, but I did it for myself, and like you, I'm not religious. There is an element of faith and trusting God, but when that part came in, I kind of just thought about my own sense of spirituality. It definitely did not make me feel closer to God or like I was going to give myself up to Him and then all would be well. So, I guess I kinda tuned that part out, but I definitely did get something out of the rest of the sessions. It was a lifesaver, actually.
Does your health insurance pay for any counseling? Mine paid for some. Usually the counselors know to write their plans in such a way that insurance companies will pay for it, if that's part of your coverage.
Good luck!
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ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 2070
Loc: a better place :)
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my health insurance has a $500 deductible for counseling/mental health and then it is 50% after that. just not affordable right now.
thanks for the input.
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What you reap is what you sow and so it goes...
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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I took my kids to the Rainbow House. Which is in NJ. And it's not faith based, which I like. And while the kids are meeting, the parents get support, too, in their own meeting.
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makingit
Silver
Reged: 12/09/07
Posts: 87
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I am in DivorceCare now and my six year old son is in DC4K. He loves it. He can't wait to go every week. It is very "Church of Christ", but that part of it I just ignore or take it with a grain of salt. I am a much more liberal methodist! HAa Ha. I am obviously not in the sessions with my son, but it has been good for him to talk about things and just to be around other kids that are in the same situation. It is not the same as counseling, but I think it is a good option - and practically free. (I think it was only about $20) They watch a movie each session, have a snack, play games, make crafts, etc. We are in the next room and we can always hear them being very rowdy! It has been great for me too just to sit and talk with a group of people in a similar situation. Let me know if you have any specific questions. Oh - and each week has a theme (anger. lonliness, finances, etc.) We are on about week 9 of 13 I think.
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waited2long
Silver
Reged: 02/19/08
Posts: 58
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Hi there, I don't know about divorce care, I just wanted to tell you that a LOT of child psychologists//counselors//psychiatrists WILL see you based on income, give you reduced fee, etc.
The religious-based places seem to especially do this, as well as child-oriented places. Sometimes it's hard to find a counselor your child opens up to. I had to go through 2 before I found someone my DD liked. It's a faith based place, but it is NOT forced, and in fact, I am not religious at all either.
Try calling a few places and explain the situation, I have found most will work with you!!
I have found as well that the "counselor" at school always seems to think the kids are "doing okay", but I know that's because she only talks for about 3 minutes and of course my kids are quiet and polite and they don't pour their hearts out for someone who they barely know. It takes months sometimes for a bond to form and for a child to open up to someone.
I would call the school counselor back and tell her your concerns, regardless of what the counselor thinks. They don't know your children like you do. They may even know of a reduced-fee or free place your child may go to. I would ask her (the school counselor), then your child's doctor, etc.
Counseling has really helped my daughter. I know it is so HARD to see them hurt. I too, would rather shoulder their pain. I wish I never had to see pain in my child's eyes.
Good luck to you, and your child. Please keep us updated. I hope you can find something. I went through the SAME thing with insurance and such, and I was paying COBRA, so I know, believe me, about money issues.
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