jjaann
Bronze
Reged: 03/16/08
Posts: 47
Loc: Virginia
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Sorry if it sounds confusing. I really think his affair doesn't even play in to it. I took him back and we were supposed to be working on it. I have worked part-time off and on for the past 8 years. When I was diagnosed with my illness I couldn't work standing on my feet. I worked retail positions. I could though be rehabilitated for some office work. I am currently not working. We have a son (19) who is going through some trouble and I have to get him to all appointments.
One of the sore subjects in our marriage is me not getting the opportunity to work. I was always taking care of everything. My husband worked and all other responsibilities fell to me. My husband has always made all of the money. He has a good job. He was able to pursue his career and advance because he could completely focus on his career. He has accumulated over a year's worth of sick leave because he never took off time with the kids.
Sorry I am just upset. I warn all young women to continue working and not completely give up working
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2461
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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[quote] I warn all young women to continue working and not completely give up working [/quote]
the poor little girls who sit near me in my classes (you know the little 19/20 year old clueless girls who think *I* know what we are supposed to be doing all the time).
anyhow, poor things i tell them this like once every couple weeks...NEVER stop working! at least go part time and keep some kind of degree!
LOL....silly innocent things...when i was their age i too had 'the world is my oyster' stars in my eyes. Sigh..i try...
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taryn.
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siobhan
New
Reged: 03/10/08
Posts: 8
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I live in Virginia and have discussed health insurance (I have epilepsy) and spousal support with my attorney. There are a few things you should know.
First of all, under Virginia law we have "no-fault" divorces in many cases. However, in cases of infidelity -- that actually is a divorce for cause. You actually need to sue him for divorce to get all the appropriate legal protections you need. You need to get to an attorney (judging by the dates -- I really hope you did). Infidelity is a big no-no in Virginia. It changes the dynamic considerably.
"theanswerguy" was right on the money. The court may order your ex to cover you under his insurance policy after the divorce. Or as mentioned, he may increase your spousal support to allow you to buy COBRA (insurance through his company for a limited time, 18-24 months, I think). And it may go beyond that. It's truly up to the judge. But in a divorce for cause, and given the factors you mentioned (duration of the marriage, you being dependent on his insurance during the marriage, your health circumstances) these things will all weigh in your favor.
You need to be aware that you have a very strong case here and not be afraid to tell a lawyer all that has occurred. You taking him back is not relevant when there is infidelity. But you need to divorce him. I'm sorry to sound so adversarial, I know that's not what you want to hear but that is how you will best protect you and your children's legal rights.
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MimiSo
New
Reged: 02/05/08
Posts: 18
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Anyone know about Georgia or New York? How does the court feel about adultery? Or do they not care.
Are military ex-spouses eligible for Cobra?
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jjaann
Bronze
Reged: 03/16/08
Posts: 47
Loc: Virginia
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I am really surprised I thought the adultery thing didn't matter if I took him back and we were "working on it". I wonder whether he still is in the affair because he continued some of the same suspicious activities. The funny thing he does is sneak around with his blackberry. He will even hide under a blanket to do it. That is how he used to contact her before.
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