Can you just set a schedule every month and then live with that? And for dates that need to be determined farther out (say, you want to take a vacation) then you tel her the dates and then she must take of making arrangements accordingly...would that work for you?
No, it's not fun to have to be so flexible....but it's do-able. My ex travels fairly often for his job. But when he's not traveling, he works from home...about 10 min away. We change up our schedule from week to week depending on his travel plans. We've been doing this for about 18 mths now and it works. Our son gets to his dad quite often and while it can sometimes be a lot of bouncing back and forth, for the most part I think it's worth it in the long run. As long as she is reasonable with accomodating your needs to have "alone time" as well, and is fairly close geographically, I don't see why it can't be worked out. I get it that it can be annoying...believe me, I live it...but it's do-able...
[quote]The notion that a dad must accept EOW + one evening applies to conservative and/or gender-biased jurisdictions and then only if the mother is the primary caregiver (i.e. stay at home or part time work).
This dad could make the case that he's the primary caregiver now since he's there whenever the kids need him and she's only available as per her variable work schedule.
Not to say that I think he could successfully turn the tables on this and stick her with EOW + one evening. That wouldn't work for her schedule; the kids would see her rarely and that would not be in their best interests. [/quote]
And if you will reread my very first post, I did say that it would make sense that he is primary.
But he still whined about having to work around her schedule because he doesn't want to build his life around her schedule. Fine, then he can have the EOW and once during the week. This way, he doesn't have to build his life around the mother's schedule.