Divorce Support Forums: How do I get his attorney to deal w/ me?

Tell your attorney that your husband's attoreny is demanding this and refusing to negotiate so long as your attorney is present in the case. There's got to be something unethical about that but I can't put my finger on the exact NAME of what, about it, is unethical... brain is tired... but it's GOT to be unethical to refuse to negotiate in good faith JUST becasue you are being competently represented, and to try to force you into proceeding without a lawyer. If someone tried to get a criminal defendant to be forced into court (or mediation) without a lawyer, it would be SO much in violation of SO many laws that the lawyer trying to do this would probably be disbarred, I just don't know off the top of my head what the correlary is in family law.

Also, you say you're only waiting for the final judgement to be agreeable to both of you, which makes it SOUND like you've already been to mediation and agreed to everything but just ahve a few little details to hammer out. Why are you at the stage of trying to decide whether or not to sign a final decree if you've not been to mediation and don't even know what the terms of the divorce are yet? Sounds like the cart is before the horse here, or maybe his attorney is being a jerk, refusing to do the right thing and trying to force a RE-negotiation on the details?

I'd not fire my lawyer unless there's a good reason that you PERSONALLY believe your laweyr is not doing a good job (NOT that your enemy, the ex's lawyer says so, for sure!)... and I'd be double wary of a lawyer who said he didn't want another lawyer involved on the other side... makes me think he wants to pull a snow job on you.

Which makes me wonder, he's not supposed to talk to you AT ALL without your lawyer if you are represented. What in the WORLD is he doing, telling you this? Now if you called his office and tried to do something rather than letting your lawyer do it, you might have been shooting yourself in the foot... but his lawyer would be ethically required to tell you that they could not talk directly with you as long as you were represented... and here's why you might have been shooting yourself in the foot. If your lawyer doesn't know what you're doing, and somehow behind his back (or not intending to go behind his back, just trying to be helpful) you have started something, it can really make you trip up. Ever heard the phrase "one hand doesn't know what the other is doing"? It generally means that you're supposed to be acting as one, but you're moving in different directions and it might not be to your advantage.

I'd suggest you talk to your lawyer, explain what his lawyer said. Explain what circumstances that lawyer said it in, and how you got yourself into a situation where that lawyer was saying that to you ... explain your concerns and whether or not it would be a good strategy for you to walk into negotiation without representation.

I think after you think about it, you'll wonder what he has up his sleeve that he's demanding this, and you'll decide FOR SURE to make certain you have a lawyer with you for this.

On the othe rhand, if you think your own lawyer is really dropping the ball, go interview a few others and find one who can take over your case who agrees with your goals and has a plan for achieving those goals that you agree with.