What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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This is a totally bizarre idea...but i have to float it.
summary for those not following my story...disabled wife in wheelchair is totally dependent on me. No family or support here so i'm her total world.
I've offered to take her to her 1st atty appt. I know she has someone in mind because when her mom was here she made some calls and told me he is a 'nice guy' and that wants 2500 up front etc etc.
So i think that means she hasnt seen him yet. I'm going to take her to her 1st appt once i file and she gets the papers. I'm sure she will want to to in alone for that. And the reason i'm going to take her (against advice i gave myself a few months ago), is that if i dont, i have to have her mom out here and thats just not fun at all. And i have no idea how many times you need to see an atty but i dont want visitors that often. (of course her mom prefers not to come here anyway as i found out but that's another tangent)
so i was wondering, after the 1st visit, would it be totally bizarre if i went in to my wifes atty with her to try to work things out? Or would he even let me (some kind of rule?) I'm sure many of you will say no way jose, thats why you hired an atty and i do understand that. But part of me was wondering if this would move along more quickly if i was there with her atty and going back and forth to see what he feels is 'fair'. Obviously this wont mesh with what i want but since i have to take her anyway, i figure why not use that time to my benefit and feel out what he wants?
of course i wouldnt do/sign anything until my atty wrote it up.
so what do you think...crazy..or not crazy?
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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Motor-Head
Platinum
Reged: 02/07/08
Posts: 583
Loc: 10,000 RPM
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It can work.
That’s how we did ours.
Wife found attorney she liked and met with him.
I met with him so he was sure we were both on same page.
We went home worked out agreement and went back and gave it to him.
Bam we are divorced
Will it work in your situation who knows.
None contested D cost us $1000
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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Unfortunately she said she wont get atty until i file so i'm stuck filing soon to get her butt in gear. And i'm sure my atty wouldnt be happy about meeting hers but i'm not even sure my wife would go for it, just wanted to float the idea. Just seems that she would feel more protected knowing her atty there and telling me what her wishes are.
Plus i'm not sure her atty would even meet with me if i retained one myself..that's the part im unsure of
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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ok now i have a fun quandry....i'm paying my atty today to file...and she said she would sent the papers certified mail home...well since my wife is in a wheelchair i'm the one that gets the mail and will have to drive her to the PO to get the letter...wont that be fun! I guess i could have paid a constable to do it but that just seems like a waste of money
talk about awkward..
my atty did say that we could all meet with her and her atty and sit at the table and hash things out...but heck i'd love to save on fees and just see my wifes atty to see what he wants..then take it to mine if i have issues.
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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aspect
Platinum
Reged: 01/08/08
Posts: 464
Loc: Texas
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My wife and I used the same attorney to file. In Texas it cost us about $800.
However, since she was the petitioner, the attorney represented her. I didn't know this at first. I found it odd that the paralegal was asking her if she wanted the max child support, full custody of the kids, me to pay for a life insurance policy and health insurance, and temporary alimony. I was sitting there thinking, "WTF? Am I invisible? Does she not see me sitting here?"
So, with the joint attorney thing in your case, since you are petitioner, I would imagine that would be your lawyer you filed with, which means that if she used your lawyer, he'd be representing you.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4702
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There's a rule. He can't talk to you if you're represented by a lawyer unless you fire that lawyer. Otherwise, he talks to your lawyer.
This is to protect YOU.
Tell your wife that if he thinks they can keep it amicable, that he's welcome to call your attorney with any suggestions, or she can just come out of thier session and let you know what they're thinking if she is comfortable doing that. It's odd for you to drive her to the appointment, but VERY friendly, so maybe the lawyer will be of the mindset that the friendly way is the way to keep it.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4702
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It'll be cheaper if you all go in & hash it out rather than let the everyone talk separately and come together & go separately again. If all your paperwork is ready to prove income, assets, debts... then there's no reason they can't get together & be reasonable. I like your lawyer's idea.
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