Tulbagh
Silver
Reged: 03/12/08
Posts: 84
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Please I need some help.
I have lived in Louisiana for 4 years where I rent. My stbx has lived in Vietnam for 4 years. The marital property is in New York (jointly owned). He comes back there for about 8 weeks a year, divided into 2 visits.
I filed for divorce in Louisiana because that's where I live. He has filed an exception saying that since the immovable property is in NY, Louisiana is not the proper venue and the petition should be thrown out. I now have to appear in court (at my cost) to show why the exception should not be sustained.
I would really appreciate any thoughts or advice that any one of you wonderful people can give.
Should the petition be thrown out?
Where should the divorce be filed?
Can I file a petition in NY even though I don't live there?
Can he file a petition in NY?
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5051
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What does your lawyer say?
If you don't have a lawyer and are trying to figure this one out on your own, it's going to be hard to get the details you need to talk tothe court abotu, that's something people spend YEARS in law school learning about how to present...
But if you're just worried because you can never be sure, and your lawyer has told you to relax but you are having a hard time with that... think of this.
People get divorced all the time where they have a house in one state & a condo or vacation house in a different state & no one makes them change the divorce to a different state just becasue teh HOUSE is there. They go to a different state becasue the PEOPLE live there, but not because of the HOUSE. You don't have to file 2 or 3 different divorce cases just because you have 2 or 3 different pieces of real estate scattered around the country (this is particularly important for divorces where people live close to a state line and maybe own a rental home on the other side of the state line... or for people who live up north & have a vacation home in teh sun belt, or maybe who have two or three time shares that are in different parts of the country). It happens all the time and no one has to divorce each other two or three times just to take care of two or three different pieces of real estate.
The divorce is abotu YOU, officially, not the real estate. Realistically, the real estate will have to be resolved, but the subject matter of a divorce is the people and the marriage, the partnership... and the partnership has cars and retirement accounts and children, maybe, and sometimes also a house & a rental house and a vacation condo and a time share and a cabin in the mountains and a share of a business that owns an oil well in another state.
If you've got a lawyer working on this, don't sweat it. It's a pain in the neck, like re-inventing the wheel to explain a very basic principle that was established hundreds of years ago... but your divorce certainly CAN take place in the place where you've lived for the past 4 years and he can't stop that.
NOW, if you're wanting to get control over the property, you're probably going to have to take special steps to get a court in Louisiana to force a man in Viet Nam to sign over his rights to part of a property in New York... THAT might be tricky... getting any execution of the final decree one that happens... but just getting divorced should NOT be a problem.
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Tulbagh
Silver
Reged: 03/12/08
Posts: 84
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[quote]
"But if you're just worried because you can never be sure, and your lawyer has told you to relax but you are having a hard time with that... think of this. "
gigi:
You hit the nail on the head with the quote above. I have a Louisiana lawyer, and when I got these exception papers I called a lawyer in NY(recommended through this fabulous site - boy am I lucky to have found it). They basically have said exactly what you have said but I hadn't heard from either of them when I posted and I was in flat-out panic, picturing handcuffs and reprimands for daring to file in LA. (My imagination is far too vivid at times!)
It sure does help to be able to talk about this, get well thought-out advice, and just generally vent about the whole thing.
I never thought divorce could be that hard if one has been both married (36 years) and separated (6 years) as long as we have, but this is a frightening maze that turns people into creatures I just don't recongnize (and I include myself in that). So thank you again and know that you have made at least one person calmer today.
Tulbagh
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Whew! I'm feeling much better now too. Thanks Gigi!
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5051
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lol... Kgrow, were you worried that maybe you'd have to divorce your ex again because there was a house in a different state? (just kidding, I know you'd have said the same thing with a lot less words if you'd answered the post before me)
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Tulbagh
Silver
Reged: 03/12/08
Posts: 84
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KGrow is one of the best. He/she has already given me invaluable advice and now I add you, gigi, to my list of nurturers. Can't remember if I said that I heard from both lawyers and they basically agreed with what you said, and that I don't have to appear in court to prove why I should file in Louisiana, but I do have to sign an affidavit which will be submitted to the judge for his decision. It all gets so complicated, and the legal language is downright scary.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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"I know you'd have said the same thing with a lot less words if you'd answered the post before me"
No, I know that change of jurisdiction would be an uphill battle but didn't have the background; I learned something. I also don't think I could pull the mind-reading trick you pulled here.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5051
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Oh, no mind-reading tricks, just talk to a lot of people and get some ideas about common issues. And when I get a hint that someone is saying something about an issue I've heard over & over from others, I'll say something like, "if what you're worried about is..."
It's funny how being observant about feelings strikes people as mind-reading sometimes. I'm also observant about, and remember archaic nonsense like jurisdictional questions, but for some reason no one thinks I'm being a mind reader when I make the connection between one jurisdictional situation and another one.
My memory bank works different than most, I think. I've got average memory for numbers and names, anything that's done by ROTE requires a little more work for me unless there's an outline I already know, a story where I can fit it in, a trick I can use to memorize it... but I've got an AMAZING memory for concepts, emotions, logic. I can hear a story and it'll trigger some similar story from the back of my mind & if I can figure out what triggered it and remember the exact dispositions of things, it sounds like magic sometimes.
This is why I usually ask people to let us know what happened in thier situations. Every time I get a story and get the final resolution in my head, it's like a new circuit connects & that becomes part of the whole library of examples in my head that I can pull up & use the next time I hear something that triggers that memory. It's kind of fun...
But it's not mind-reading. Just observation.
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