dkc
New
Reged: 10/27/07
Posts: 24
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Hello,
I am getting closer to completing my plan to start divorce procedings. I have a few questions to think over before I set up a lawyer apt. ( I am talking to a few to find a good fit).
1)Should I take 1/2 of the money out of our joint accounts to have something to help pay bills etc? I have read conflicting things on this.
2)If I leave with my kids (14 & 17) how long before we could move back in by "court order"? Could I ask for this in initial hearing?
3)Is it commom to get a restraining order so niether party damages, sells, throws out personal belonging of the other? She is mentally ill and not always acting rationally.
4)If one of us stays in the house, that has a rental value of say $1800 (no mortgage, just utilities taxes etc) and the other gets a place to rent for say $800, how would that affect the final split? Are we each responsible for 1/2 of the others resonable expenses? If so does that mean that whoever stayed in the home would be "using" $500 of equity each month?
5)If I moved out, and rented "part of a furnished home", from my parents, would this be considered a legitmit expense in the about senario if at a fair market value? Would I be better off paying nothing (which is what my parents would want) and would that mean she would get a smaller part of the equity left when things are finalize becasue I would have no monthly expenses in the mean time. For those of you thinkin it would be crazy to move in with my parents, this would be only until we could finalize and either move back into marital home of get the equity out to buy a new place. And they would be a great stable influence on my kids, which they havent gotten much of lately with a mentally ill parent thinking they are going to be "abandond"
Thanks,
DKC
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2181
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1)Should I take 1/2 of the money out of our joint accounts to have something to help pay bills etc? I have read conflicting things on this.
>>>>>>>>>> Take as needed , be prepared to show receipts that any funds appropriated are " in order to secure necessities, or in order to pay reasonable costs and expenses of the action, including attorney fees."
2)If I leave with my kids (14 & 17) how long before we could move back in by "court order"? Could I ask for this in initial hearing?
>>>>>>>>>>>> Are you asking for exclusive use of the marital home ?
3)Is it commom to get a restraining order so niether party damages, sells, throws out personal belonging of the other? She is mentally ill and not always acting rationally.
>>>>>>>>>>> It's assumed via law BUT always a good idea to ask for anyway . If your STBX is truly " over the edge " , it's not gonna matter .
4)If one of us stays in the house, that has a rental value of say $1800 (no mortgage, just utilities taxes etc) and the other gets a place to rent for say $800, how would that affect the final split?
>>>>>>>>>>>> It wouldn't .
Are we each responsible for 1/2 of the others resonable expenses?
>>>>>>>>>>>> No .
If so does that mean that whoever stayed in the home would be "using" $500 of equity each month?
>>>>>>>>>> No , there is no property to split . If appropriate , spousal support will be awarded .
5)If I moved out, and rented "part of a furnished home", from my parents, would this be considered a legitmit expense in the about senario if at a fair market value? Would I be better off paying nothing (which is what my parents would want) and would that mean she would get a smaller part of the equity left when things are finalize becasue I would have no monthly expenses in the mean time. For those of you thinkin it would be crazy to move in with my parents, this would be only until we could finalize and either move back into marital home of get the equity out to buy a new place. And they would be a great stable influence on my kids, which they havent gotten much of lately with a mentally ill parent thinking they are going to be "abandond"
>>>>>>>>>>> What " equity " are you talking about ? It's a rental .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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dkc
New
Reged: 10/27/07
Posts: 24
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[quote]1)Should I take 1/2 of the money out of our joint accounts to have something to help pay bills etc? I have read conflicting things on this.
>>>>>>>>>> Take as needed , be prepared to show receipts that any funds appropriated are " in order to secure necessities, or in order to pay reasonable costs and expenses of the action, including attorney fees."
....makes sense to me...
2)If I leave with my kids (14 & 17) how long before we could move back in by "court order"? Could I ask for this in initial hearing?
>>>>>>>>>>>> Are you asking for exclusive use of the marital home ?
..... Yes I would. BUT, in the short term when I tell her I am leaving, I think it would be best for me to be the one to leave with the kids because of the raging and suicide threats that dont want to expose the kids to. I have a place lining up for us to go temporarily close by. I would like to consider buying her out, but need to look at finances....
3)Is it commom to get a restraining order so niether party damages, sells, throws out personal belonging of the other? She is mentally ill and not always acting rationally.
>>>>>>>>>>> It's assumed via law BUT always a good idea to ask for anyway . If your STBX is truly " over the edge " , it's not gonna matter .
....thats what I am dreading :(....
5)If I moved out, and rented "part of a furnished home", from my parents, would this be considered a legitmit expense in the about senario if at a fair market value? Would I be better off paying nothing (which is what my parents would want) and would that mean she would get a smaller part of the equity left when things are finalize becasue I would have no monthly expenses in the mean time. For those of you thinkin it would be crazy to move in with my parents, this would be only until we could finalize and either move back into marital home of get the equity out to buy a new place. And they would be a great stable influence on my kids, which they havent gotten much of lately with a mentally ill parent thinking they are going to be "abandond"
>>>>>>>>>>> What " equity " are you talking about ? It's a rental . [/quote]
....I meant the equity in our marital home. I assumed that if one of us stays in the marital home - that we have 100% equity in - that we would "owe" the other party something for the use of the house until things are fianlized. This is just an assumption by how I read other things online....
Thanks for the help,
DKC
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dkc
New
Reged: 10/27/07
Posts: 24
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[quote]1)Should I take 1/2 of the money out of our joint accounts to have something to help pay bills etc? I have read conflicting things on this.
>>>>>>>>>> Take as needed , be prepared to show receipts that any funds appropriated are " in order to secure necessities, or in order to pay reasonable costs and expenses of the action, including attorney fees."
Makes sense to me
2)If I leave with my kids (14 & 17) how long before we could move back in by "court order"? Could I ask for this in initial hearing?
>>>>>>>>>>>> Are you asking for exclusive use of the marital home ?
Yes I am. BUT in the short term I think I would be best for me to leave with the kids as soon as I tell her, until we can get "temporary orders" in place. I have a place to go right away, she does not. I would like to buy out her half of the equity in the final settlement
4)If one of us stays in the house, that has a rental value of say $1800 (no mortgage, just utilities taxes etc) and the other gets a place to rent for say $800, how would that affect the final split?
>>>>>>>>>>>> It wouldn't .
Would whoever stays there then be soley responsible for utilities taxes etc...? There in NO mortgage.
Thanks,
DKC
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Odysseus
New
Reged: 03/18/08
Posts: 24
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It's a VERY BAD IDEA for you to move out of the house and then ask the court to let you move back in. Once you're out the status quo is with her and she'll fight to have the children returned as well.
If that's what you plan to ask for, stay put in the house. File for divorce and ask for temporary orders giving you sole custody and possession of the marital home. You'll need to have irrefutable documentation that she's unfit in order to pull that off, but it's even more of an uphill battle if you move out.
You need an attorney.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2181
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Yes I would. BUT, in the short term when I tell her I am leaving, I think it would be best for me to be the one to leave with the kids because of the raging and suicide threats that dont want to expose the kids to. I have a place lining up for us to go temporarily close by. I would like to consider buying her out, but need to look at finances....
>>>>>>>>> Exclusive use is more likely to be granted to the party that seeks custody of the children .
I meant the equity in our marital home. I assumed that if one of us stays in the marital home - that we have 100% equity in - that we would "owe" the other party something for the use of the house until things are fianlized. This is just an assumption by how I read other things online.
>>>>>>>>>>>> Not necessarily , no one can tell you how a judge will rule where you live . Costs could be split anyway .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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