disgustedinla
New
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 4
Loc: Louisiana
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I may just be venting here because I just had to call the sherrif's dept on my soon to be ex, but I just can't take it anymore. I filed for divorce in February for several reasons including emotional, verbal, mental and occasional physical abuse as well as infidelities (most attempts of which were unsuccessful because they included my younger sister and my best friend).
In any case I am just writing to say that my living situation has become absolutely unbearable! Tonight as I was eating supper I had a plate of food dumped down the back of my scrub top and then jambalaya smeared into my hair in front of my 3 and 5 year old boys. Exactly how much more degrading can one person be to another? The reason we are still in the same house is because both of our lawyers have told us not to leave the house or the children as the other could claim some form of abandonment. This is getting so ridiculous though. My children did not need to see that! We are scheduled for our hearing on Thursday of this week and after tonight I can't wait. You know after all that, he says I am sorry I lost it but "you deserved it!" Then in the next breath he is telling me "I love you."
Is anyone else going through this? I have never called the sherrif's department before because most of his abuse was emotional calling me a bad mother, throwing my keys in the grass so I couldn't find them to go to work, throwing freshly baked cakes into the grass because he thought I was making them for work, or calling my work during Christmas time and threatening other employees with the verbal threat of a loaded shot gun because I had to work and would not be home until 7 am on Christmas morning. Anyway, occasionally he would push or shove or grab me by the arm, but the physical abuse was all inconspicuous. Tonight, however, he just took it too far.
Yes, I want and need this divorce. 7 years of marriage, 3 children, one girl deceased at 12 days and 2 living, beautiful boys is not enough for me to put up with this bull. He keeps saying "when you get a day job, things will be different." I honestly don't think people can change just like that. Look I love the man, but I can't be in love wiht someone who treats me like that. Well, not much else for me to say, just kind of wondering if anyone else has been going through anything similar and how they are coping with it?
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WolRon
Platinum
Reged: 01/16/08
Posts: 255
Loc: MN, USA
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Stories like yours make me very sad that at least you have a valid reason for wanting to leave (abusive husband) but that my wife left me for much less.
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I didn't get married to pay CS later in life.
http://home.cmit.net/rwolbeck/childsupport
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3234
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Did you get a restraining order when the sheriff came out? If not, go to court first thing in the morning and file for a domestic violence restraining order and ask for exclusive possession of the house and include the kids in it. And ask that it's a long-term one. And ask that he attend an anger management course. The fact that he assaulted you (and what he did is an assault) in front of the kids is not going to go well for him at all.
I am sorry that you are going through this.
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2221
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You are making the right decision to end it. His spots aren't going to change just because you change your hours. Don't let him fool you.
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WolRon
Platinum
Reged: 01/16/08
Posts: 255
Loc: MN, USA
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It's not ASSAULT Jada. Stop overdramatizing everything.
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I didn't get married to pay CS later in life.
http://home.cmit.net/rwolbeck/childsupport
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3136
Loc: Florida
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Wolron, dumping food on someone is considered assault...call your local police department or local public school and just ask.
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**2 1/2 weeks to go...should start counting down the days**
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disgustedinla
New
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 4
Loc: Louisiana
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I know I am, but some days it just seems that staying would be easier. Not that I am going to stay, it just is getting so ugly!
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disgustedinla
New
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 4
Loc: Louisiana
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To All,
Assault or not...and I do have a bump on my head where the plate of food abrased it before it was dumped down my back...it should not have happened. No one deserves to be treated like that and two young, impressionable, male childeren especially do not need to be exposed to such vile behavior!
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disgustedinla
New
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 4
Loc: Louisiana
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WolRon,
People get divorced for all sorts of reasons including abusive relationships like mine, but that doesn't make it any easier on either party. In my case i am the one who filed for the divorce, but I do love my husband and hate to see him in so much pain. However, I am not putting myself through a life full of torment just to appease him.
I don't know what your situation is, but I will tell you it took an awful lot for me to finally make this decision and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Actually, it was the second hardest thing...burying our first born child was the hardest. Just know that whatever is going on in your wife's mind, she is struggling with this just as much as you are.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3234
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[quote]It's not ASSAULT Jada. Stop overdramatizing everything. [/quote]
You really are clueless. Go and ask your local DA if throwing food on someone is an assault.
Don't be surprised if s/he tells that not only is it assault, it could be considered assault with a weapon.
I am very familiar with what constitutes an assault. And it is rather obvious that you are not.
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