mouser4213
New
Reged: 03/19/08
Posts: 3
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I have a 6 month order in effect preventing my ex-wife and I from bringing intimate partners in the presence of our 8 year old daughter. The order was put in place by me starting Jan 31st 08, I have primary custody.
On Monday, my daughter informed me that her mother brought her boyfriend around her on Sunday and asked her not to tell me about it because "Daddy would get her in trouble". My daughter was in tears over this, obviously torn over the idea of having to debate allegiance between parents.
Her mother has admitted to me about both having him around her and asking her not to tell me. Apparently, they did not speak, just were at the same home, in each other's presence.
What are my options here? I feel if I do nothing, it will continue.
Any help is appreciated.
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1195
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[quote]parents.
Apparently, they did not speak, just were at the same home, in each other's presence.
What are my options here? I feel if I do nothing, it will continue.
Any help is appreciated. [/quote]
Who did not speak to whom?
How is it stated in the order exactly?
Who said it was intamate, your daughter?
First problem with the ruling, and I'm not saying it is a bad one, is how do you enforce it and prove it without involving the kids. Involving the kids is a big no no. I hate it when people put this in the order before thinking of that.
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mouser4213
New
Reged: 03/19/08
Posts: 3
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Thank you for the reply.
Who did not speak to whom?
- The boyfriend did not actually speak to my daughter supposedly.
How is it stated in the order exactly?
- My daughter "is not to be in the presence of any person with whom either parent has an intimate or dating relationship"
Who said it was intamate, your daughter?
- My wife and this person now live together, he "leaves" when my daughter goes to visit. It is on record that their relationship is sexual, she commited adultery with him, thus the end of our marriage. They both left families with children to be with each other.
As far as proof, I have her mother on record admitting to everything I stated above.
Edited by mouser4213 (04/02/08 07:02 PM)
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1195
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Your X admitted it to you. Did you record it or get it in writing, video, anything you can take to court? Will she admit it in court, most likely not but hey mine admitted to things I couldn't prove?
Do you have an attorney?
You can't use your daughter you just can't.
Sorry this has happened to you and your daughter!!!
You could probly get pictures but you do not want to drive by with your daughter around so that to me is out unless you get someone else to do it and then you have to prove that your daughter was there at the same time and not down the street or something.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3109
Loc: Colorado
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The right thing to do is to take your daughter out of the middle of this. That means not enforcing the no-contact provision. The 8-year old has already been through divorce, she can handle her mother dating someone else.
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1195
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[quote]The right thing to do is to take your daughter out of the middle of this. That means not enforcing the no-contact provision. The 8-year old has already been through divorce, she can handle her mother dating someone else. [/quote]
A+++++
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Sarah1014
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2221
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These things aren't that enforceable and cause too much drama for the kids. I went through the same exact thing. You're just going to have to swallow hard and be the better parent.
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saamrodi
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2898
Loc: here
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Unfortunately, from what I have gathered on my own, they are right as in there is really no way to enforce it. Trying to do so will put more stress on the child. It shouldnt be that way, but....
Just try to be the example that your child needs in this area and others. Apparently, her mother is not going to be the one to do it.
Good luck
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"A man must not deny his manifest abilities, for that is to evade his obligations." ~W.F.~
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still waiting
New
Reged: 04/30/08
Posts: 4
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I have been trying to get a divorce for a year, have spent over $14,000.00 and I too have a restraining order. I would suggest that you keep, either on a calendar, or in a notebook, any violations of your orders and keep your attorney informed of what's going on. Yes, you and your ex-spouse will both move on, and that is sometimes difficult to deal with. However, in this stage of the divorce, rules are rules and if you want her to abide by the rest of the order, your ex must see that you are serious. It all depends on how "nasty" you want this divorce to be.
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