trudyrudy
New
Reged: 04/02/08
Posts: 15
Loc: North Carolina
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I don't have kids, but my husband is still living with me, untill Saturday he says, where he will be going to live with his parents. But he is being verbally abusive, and is playing with my head. Meaning, he cuddles, and kisses me, and then turns around and says he's still leaving. I just don't understand him at all. Why can a man do this? If he wants out, go. This is the 3rd time he's done this this month. He tells me he's going to his parents, we live 1 hour away from them, to look for work. He's done this all 3 times. He just went back up there this past Friday (March 28) and was back the very next day, claiming he wants to work things out. But turns around Monday and tells me once again that he's leaving. I can't take this anymore.
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1185
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Sorry I'm of the other gender and sorry you have to come here. Glad to have you though and if you hang around someone can help you better then me.
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ttina
Platinum
Reged: 02/28/08
Posts: 397
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then don't take it. It is your choice to allow this man in and out of your life. If you allow this behavior he isn't going to have to make a descion on whether or not he wants to remain in this marriage. And remember you have a choice too. You can say make up your mind, you can allow him to yo-yo in and our of your life or you can say no more. As to why... I can't answer that, but if its worked for him so far, he may feel you allow it, so why not.
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1335
Loc: Richmond, VA
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Sorry, I'm a guy, but how old is he? Sounds like he is 12. Next time he leaves, tell him he's not allowed back. Right now, none of this is real to him. You want to make it real for him, tell him he's not allowed back until he gets a job and the minute he loses the job, he can go back to his parents. Eventually, his parents will get sick of him too.
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Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
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happy2bme
Platinum
Reged: 03/28/08
Posts: 219
Loc: Phoenix, AZ
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[quote]Sorry, I'm a guy, but how old is he? Sounds like he is 12. Next time he leaves, tell him he's not allowed back. Right now, none of this is real to him. You want to make it real for him, tell him he's not allowed back until he gets a job and the minute he loses the job, he can go back to his parents. Eventually, his parents will get sick of him too. [/quote]
agreed.
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No man is happy who does not think himself so. ~Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
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trudyrudy
New
Reged: 04/02/08
Posts: 15
Loc: North Carolina
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He's 37 yrs old. And I know he sounds like he's 12. This is it, I can't handle the yo-yoing, and this crap behavior. Last weekend when he left, his mom told him that for him to stay he has to straighten up, that she's not going to take the pacing and everything he does. When he left me in 98, and he came back 6 months later, he had gotten a nice job with Lowe's hardware, and he was good for a few months, then someone there pissed him off and he never went back. I don't like people telling me what to do either, but dang, when you work for someone else, that's the way it is, they tell you what to do and you do it. I'll be around here for along time. I can't handle him and his problems anymore. I tried....
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1335
Loc: Richmond, VA
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One word - Ultimatium.
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Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
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jakandme
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 569
Loc: on my way up the hill
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I agree, it sounds as though he throws temper tantrums and decides that when things aren't going his way, he will leave. Next time he leaves say "don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya" and act like you don't care. If he loves you, he will stop being childish and tell you what is bothering him.
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What is the future but a mirrored image of the past? Only we can make it better or worse!
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ttina
Platinum
Reged: 02/28/08
Posts: 397
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The only way a person can take advantage of you is if you let them. If you're done, inform him and go on with your life. IF you're not done with him, you are bound to be caught in this same cycle. Your choice.
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trudyrudy
New
Reged: 04/02/08
Posts: 15
Loc: North Carolina
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Well he's gone. I took him to his parents this morning. It hurt to just leave without him. But this is what he wanted.
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No man, or woman is worth crying over, and the one that is won't make you cry.
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