wELL, MY BOYS R 13,15. So, far what I have notied is that they seem to show a bit of animosity towards their father. I have made a point to not present any negativity about the situation or their dad since we split and are now divorced. My 13 yr old has went down in his school work and it has really placed more pressure upon me..mainly because I have to indur the concern from his teachers while I'm at work. My 15yr old has a issue w/ thinking he can just go off and not have anyone say a word to him when he does so. I have spoke w/ both of them and relayed to them that anyissues have to be addressed by dad..because I haven't gone anywhere to deserve the mistreatment.
My son will be 15 this weekend and I have been divorced about 6 months. I have 4 other children but he took it the hardest in the beginning. He is not really talking about it anymore, but just last week, I did ask if he was still angry and he said Yes. he misses having his dad around although he knows he was a jerk. The D was my initiative and the kids know that. So he is angry with me and acts out sometimes by just total defiance. It's so funny because he is coming around and he realizes he can't "win". One of the problems in our family before was that if I stated a consequence would happen, Ex would often go behind me and negate it. NOW---he sees that I mean it and I will follow through. I have to be very careful how I word things to make him not feel bossed or controlled, while still getting done what I need him to do. I am seeing small victories in that dept...just yesterday I took him to the barber for a haircut (a sore spot issue) and he feels like he got his way (it's still lng but I can see his eyes and ears, not shaggy-he got a real man to cut his hair, not some grandmotherly type at Sportsclips)
It's been a pretty delicate tightrope walk with him, trying to show respect while still maintaining that I am indeed the mother and the ruling parent here whether he happens to like that or not!
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