desperate mommy
Bronze
Reged: 04/08/08
Posts: 25
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When I had to go back to work, I started looking at daycare centers for my son who is now almost a year old. My mother-in-law, who collects disability (bad back), volunteered to watch him because she didn't want him to go to daycare and that we could save money. For the first month, she kept telling me that she didn't know if she could do it and that it was hard on her back and maybe I should put him in daycare. Now that my husband and I are getting a divorce, my husband is telling me that I need to pay them. He also is saying that it isn't his mom who is watching my son, but my husband's sister. I know this is a lie, because she has school in the morning. I think it is because my mother-in-law collects disability and doesn't want to get in trouble. Should I pay?
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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I've known a few disabled folk who have done/did a little moonlighting which yield supplemental (cash) income.
My late stepdad, who worked for the same company as my mom, owned a bar. If anyone from the company came into the bar, he slid onto a barstool as a "regular" as my mom took up the slack.
My next door neighbor takes in cars to do mechanical work from time to time (as he feels up to it).
Could they possibly get caught and lose their disability? Sure. I think it's more about someone's willingness to take the risk of getting caught.
I'd think babysitting a toddler would be one of the least risky ways to earn a little cash on the side. IF someone from an office/workplace called, it could be excused as "it's just a day thing - while the poor doll is a little under the weather and can't go to his regular daycare."
Now then, the mention of the sister-in-law and the STBX in the mix, and I kinda wonder if maybe one of them is driving the bus on paying the mother in law. If the sis is taking on the work (even part-time), then she might not be so generous with her time as mom. And there's nothing that says that the STBX might not be making that request just to push your buttons.
I'd take it up with the mother-in-law. SHE is the one who needs to answer for whether or not she expects to be paid, and/or whether or not she's up to it. The fact that the STBX is delivering the message is a little suspect to me....
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desperate mommy
Bronze
Reged: 04/08/08
Posts: 25
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I made a check out to his mother, but she told me to make it out to her daughter. However, at a meeting I had with my stbx and our attorneys, he said that it was his parents who watch him. Off the subject, I went to stay at my parents' house for a few days and my husband packed up all my stuff and put it on my parents' porch. He won't let me move my stuff back in, but he still wants me to pay half of the bills. What should I do?
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1185
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You need temp. orders. You are responsible for half the bills even if you do not live there.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3218
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[quote]I made a check out to his mother, but she told me to make it out to her daughter. However, at a meeting I had with my stbx and our attorneys, he said that it was his parents who watch him. Off the subject, I went to stay at my parents' house for a few days and my husband packed up all my stuff and put it on my parents' porch. He won't let me move my stuff back in, but he still wants me to pay half of the bills. What should I do? [/quote]
Move back in. He can't move you out of the marital residence without a court order. And the cops will make him let you back in.
As for the childcare, he is responsible for half of it. Tell him that you need his mother's ssn so that you can issue her a form 1099 so that you can claim the child care expense for tax purposes. If he refuses to do this, then simply tell him that you will be registering your child in a licensed daycare facility and he will have to pay half.
You do have your baby with you, don't you? If not, he's setting himself up as primary caregiver and you as having abandoned your baby.
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