26years
New
Reged: 04/11/08
Posts: 2
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I need some help, I think my husband is gay, and on newyears eve 2007 he asked for a divorce claiming he just wanted to be with his friends. He left on 01/20/2008 and moved in with a man. he has never said he was gay, but I have a lot of back up. To date he has not files or at least i don't think so. No letter from a lawyer, or papers from the court, I think he waiting for the 6mons, but he has not told me what grounds, He wants to use the same lawyer, we each have our own cc and money and share a house. The kids are all over the age of 18 and we make about the same money. I am not sure what is going on. I want him to come clean, but I need to know about the 6 mond. Since he has not gone to a lawyer or sent me papers does the 6mons start now? I will not sign the 2 year waiver until I know for sure why I am getting divorced. Any help in this?
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ILMom
Silver
Reged: 12/03/07
Posts: 83
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Honestly, do you really need to know? If you want this over with why don't you file for divorce then it will be over with quickly. He has made his decision to leave the marriage and you really don't have any choice in the matter. I know that sounds cruel but that's the way this works. And it is in your best interest to get this over with quickly. I ended up spending $40K on my divorce...
I know there is a 6 month and a 2 year rule here in IL but the 6 month separation rule is only if you both agree to waive the 2 year rule.
If you file for divorce and put your grounds in it, then he will be forced to reply and it will include his grounds. You may get your answer that way.
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8562
Silver
Reged: 02/23/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Hicksville,IL
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What 2 year rule?!! My stbx is trying to delay everything. My attorney didn't say anything about 2 years!! I think that I'll go insane if I have to wait that long!
-------------------- Deb
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Waiting to start another chapter in my life.
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26years
New
Reged: 04/11/08
Posts: 2
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if you us Irr Diff as my stbx wants, you have to sign a waiver stateing you tried to get back together and you are willing to sign the 2 year waiting time. But you have to prove Irr Diff, even if there are none.
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ILMom
Silver
Reged: 12/03/07
Posts: 83
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We used Irr Differences and we just had to both agree to use it. We then both waived the 2 year rule. Neither of us had to prove anything as this is just the standard "no fault" option.
I could have used drug addiction or alcoholism but then I'd have to show proof. (The rehab invoices and DUI probably would have been good enough but why bother?)
Given how long a divorce can take (mine was 13 months), you'd be surprised at how quickly 2 years flies by.
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